Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
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Top comments
UnluckyLatina 22
Is your name Eric Forman by any chance?
YouEatDiarrhea 13
I love you, OP :)
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Comments (46)
chicken_dip 22
Well you tried.
ThePaperDragon 31
Someone needs to lighten up!
xjon1600 17
Well, that escalated quickly.
YouEatDiarrhea 13
I love you, OP :)
UnluckyLatina 22
Is your name Eric Forman by any chance?
jtthegr8 26
He didn't call op a dumbass
cheeeksss 29
Nor threaten to shove his foot up OP's ass.
rdavis67179 11
#16, not that we know of.
Ahaddad123 27
Now that's just funny
Rachstep22 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Try and fart on him. Make him proud
Kiernan151 25
If you really want to make him proud, why don't you kidnap him and your mother and slowly torture them in a sound proof room while asking him if he still didn't love you, eventually killing her, then him. Make him proud OP
JayGatsby 25
Usually when people say "I thought it'd be funny to" it always ends pretty badly, you got one of the better endings
Colon_Man 17
Also, "hold my beer and watch this".
PrincessZelda_HR 22
And the rarer, "maybe it'll work if we put it on the roof."
mds9986 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well if he doesn't love you, you have nothing to lose. Try something worse. Call him and say a relative died. Maybe that will scare him.
syki 22
Calm down there, Satan.
_kyleG_ 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like you scared it out of him. Try getting him flowers, in sure that'll help the situation.