Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
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Top comments
Iamthebanzai22 21
Keep a camera handy so you can post it on Youtube if your dad follows through. Please!! Some people are just assholes. Don't date them.
Wadlaen 24
Then he should research the ArmaLite Rifle, and possibly other things before discussing them with people who actually know what they're talking about. But, unfortunately people with little knowledge about something are often very sure that what they think they know is very correct. I hope things work out between your dad and your boyfriend!
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Comments (5)
Hangryko 32
Nuts to your NRA gun nut dad. He is not deserving of respect from your boyfriend, or anyone.
Wadlaen 24
Then he should research the ArmaLite Rifle, and possibly other things before discussing them with people who actually know what they're talking about. But, unfortunately people with little knowledge about something are often very sure that what they think they know is very correct. I hope things work out between your dad and your boyfriend!
Iamthebanzai22 21
Keep a camera handy so you can post it on Youtube if your dad follows through. Please!! Some people are just assholes. Don't date them.
bazjack 26
Why on earth do you keep inviting your boyfriend to dinner with your father?
BloodyButUnbowed 32
What's the joke? That's just misinformation, not humor.