Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
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Top comments
Nico_di_AngeloX 13
What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.
nix1993 41
Your Dad's a ****
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Comments (192)
saifnaqvi11 21
Oh shoot
gracehi 33
Aaaaaaaaah ha ha.
gosh_mate 30
From what I hear in the news, backyard accidents with guns aren't that uncommon, and they usually start off with a story similar to yours. I'd be pissed off with your dad honestly
MrSassypants 34
I think OP is pissed off with his dad seeing as the FML ends with "**** you, dad." :D
ThatHorse 15
This is why it's illegal to point a gun at someone (with exceptions, of course) even if it's unloaded. First, even blanks can kill if they get in a lucky shot. Second, how can you prove you loaded it with blanks? Seriously, your father deserves a life sentence in jail for idiocy.
AnOriginalName 19
It's not illegal, but it's horribly irresponsible and breaks the number one rule of gun safety. Never point it at something you don't want to shoot.
interesting33 37
true - if police had seen this, they could well have shot the Dad if they felt there was no other option and OP was in imminent danger
ThatHorse 15
It's not illegal to have or hold a weapon but to brandish it in a threatening manner can, at the very least, lose you your license to carry that firearm. So if I were to point one at someone and tell them I was gonna shoot them, I'd be in deep trouble. What the father did is actually fire at his son, meaning he deserves a full life behind bars (even if for the idiocy alone)
RandKP 21
In some states (if not all) criminal assault is defined along the lines of "threatening to cause physical harm" Which means depending on exact wording of the law, what this man did might actually be considered a form of assault, at the least.
Bragi 12
@21: It's assault with a deadly weapon, loaded or not.
Vintage_Cola 29
It may not actually be possible to be killed by a blank bullet. The one man who was killed was not because of the bullet, since blanks are designed to not fire a pellet of lead, but rather the intense vibrations of the gun and the bullet gunpowder shot caused his skull to fracture into his brain and he died later. Not to mention he managed this by placing the gun right into contact with his head. So, no. Blanks cannot kill, it's human stupidity.
dirty_dan_ 15
That is ******* hilarious
cedwards120 4
I could understand it being funny if it was a fake gun, but using a real gun like that is just asking for trouble.
Shuff52 21
#14 I'm in total agreement!
themeparkjunky 6
I've just got to say... notice how the two guys who said it was hilarious are both douche bags taking selfies in mirrors.
pwagner014 9
What the hell people on this app?! I agree #14 what the dad did was ******* hilarious. The people who disliked have to get the stick out of their ass and take a joke
DoomedGemini 38
The joke could have caused serious harm, that's what the issue is. I am not even around guns but I was ALWAYS taught don't point guns at anyone you aren't meaning to kill/harm. Something can easily go very wrong and someone could get harmed or killed.
Demon_of_Light 27
If you think this is hilarious, you're an idiot. Clearly you've never been educated about firearms, so let me explain something to you. People have died from pranks like the one OP's dad pulled. All it takes is one live round to have accidentally made it into the gun, and OP could be dead. On top of that, even blanks have killed people in some cases. People either get too close, or the blanks malfunction, or there is debris in the gun barrel, and somebody dies. OP's dad ignored the first and second rules of gun safety, and he risked seriously injuring and killing his son all for the sake of a joke. He also risked his own life, because if a cop saw him brandishing a gun at someone looking as if he were about to shoot, he or she might have fired at OP's dad. Now do the world a favor and abstain from reproducing, please.
mattiscg 22
seriously not kool your dad is asking for a accident hell if a cop saw that he would probably get atempted murder!!!
soulreaper12296 28
Or the cop probably would've just shot him not wanting to take the risk of 1. Not knowing the bullets were just blanks and 2. Risking the guy turning it on them.
tj4234 36
Not normally one for saying this, but this really is one of those "only in America" posts. How many mass shootings does it take for people to realise that guns should be taken seriously? And not to casually point a gun at someone for a laugh.
AJTrask 8
While this is an example of firearm irresponsibility, I don't think it's right to compare something that was intended as a joke (albeit, quite dangerous and stupid) with something as serious as a mass shooting. A better comparison would be an instance where a gun thought to be empty was actually loaded
CharlieM78 9
You know by law that's assault because you didn't know they were blanks. When I was a kid I shot a cap gun from half a block away at my schools secretary and I thought it was funny when she ran away screaming until the cops came and informed that she was thinking of pressing charges.
Sparx1_1 16
Your father is an idiot and he could have killed you. Blanks still cause a concussive force and the wadding can be propelled at speeds high enough to kill if it hits the right spot especially the temple or the eye. Too bad I can't post a link - but look it up and then show your ******* of a father.
TomeDr 25
It's idiots like this that give responsible gun owners a bad name. Rule 1: do not point the firearm at anything you do not want to shoot. Rule 2: always treat each forearm as if it was loaded. Rule 3: keep your finger OFF the trigger until you are prepared to fire. Just sayin'.
legendairy3000 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Never heard of a loaded forearm.
TomeDr 25
Sigh. Just a typo that I missed when rereading my post.
johncage 14
Rule 1, firearms are ALWAYS loaded, even when they're not. I hope for the gene pool's sake you didn't inherit your father's intellect.