Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
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Top comments
Nico_di_AngeloX 13
What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.
nix1993 41
Your Dad's a ****
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Comments (192)
Jethco 15
That's not funny at all. How stupid would he feel if he had loaded you full of real bullets? Accidents happen.
Sparx1_1 16
"can people die from being shot with blanks" Google is your friend. Next time look it up before you say something this stupid.
brocho 26
That's seriously ****** up.
TaylorHua 11
maybe said "**** u DaD" wasn't a good thing
snipesrock 9
that's how people get killed. one of them could have been not a blank. one of the main rules of firearms it's never point then at acting you don't wish to destroy.
Birdclawz 17
My uncle has done the same thing to me before, it's actually pretty common. Sorry your dad scared you OP
KRYPYAT 14
I think he needs to go over gun safety. You're NEVER supposed to point a gun at another being, even if it's unloaded. No matter what, you always treat a gun like it's loaded. That's just ridiculous. Your dad needs to smarten up. FYL, OP.
sgdigaetano 3
What the hell is wrong with that man?
calmdownplz 3
are you kidding me?! thats not funny at all, its how brandon lee died. during a shooting scene on a movie set one of the blank cartridges got stuck in the barrel of a gun, and the explosion of the next blank sent it out of the gun and right into brandon lee's chest. smh what a stupid man your dad is.
BradtheB_Butler 2
Firing Blanks from a gun at close range can still cause serious injury to anyone close by from the powder discharges from the barrel. Your father is a literal dumba** if he handles a gun like that??