Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
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Top comments
luc887_fml 28
Cats control everything. "Dogs have masters, cats have slaves."
imp4ct 15
pussyblocked?
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Comments (121)
djsammyc 19
practice for when you have kids
uarudeassbitchyo 17
The pussy rules. No pun intended.
rogerover 19
Yea. My wife's pussy controls our sex life too.
flij 6
You should probably lock the door if possible cause if you have kids they might Walk in and see you
zsshamalama 11
wait until you have kids.
ilovewolfgirl 5
That's what I call pussy whipped
Eivana 37
No it doesn't. Remove it. You sound stupid and foolish.
sanecatlady 13
Sometimes you've got to show some tough love to your pets. You wouldn't let your kids on your bed while being intimate, why should your pet? Personally, I worry enough what's going through my cat's mind when he follows me into the bathroom!
sethicles1 2
hey the pussy controls all
mazdarx94 6
Heehee don't mix up the "pussys" now ....lol that was horrible....