Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
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Top comments
luc887_fml 28
Cats control everything. "Dogs have masters, cats have slaves."
imp4ct 15
pussyblocked?
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Comments (121)
sythe511 28
Toss the cat out of the room
flij 6
You suck that is animal cruelty I would rather not have a pet than throwing it out of the room
Trently 10
That's one mean pussy.
Girlie7 11
Must have been quite a sight for your cat....
rhcpgurl 18
Thats so disgusting why on earth would you have sex with your cat on the bed?
Raykyogrou03 12
Two ******* in one bed!
schnips 10
Same with my boyfriend's dog... Usually we just kick her out of the room though.
katt_is_here 24
This is also my first thought. We kick the cats out of the bedroom anyway. That's our room. The cats can have the rest of the apartment.
Iinakki 8
Talk about being pussy whipped.
incoherentrmblr 22
Cat troll...
Big_Pickle 18
Your cat first control your sex life, you idiot. You refusing to move it is what's controlling it. That day's feelings aren't gonna be hurt if you put it out. People these days don't understand that.