Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
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Top comments
JuzReading 23
Reminds me of that FML where the girlfriend asked her boyfriend to get hard for her even though he was. Anyway, don't worry about it OP, this where your mouth and fingers come in handy.
Cads1 24
Ouch, that's gotta hurt.
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Comments (145)
mbock 15
is she a **** star? that'd be awesome!!! sneak a baseball bat next time....(ask and you shall receive)
jawarston 24
DAMN . One sentence no man ever wants to hear
morgasshk 14
I hearby dub thee: Tic tac
Turtle83 1
Ouch!!! Worst comment to hear ever!!!!_
DasPeter 9
"That's all folks"
kandysnow 18
If I see one more "That's all folks" comment........
HorrorJr 26
That's all folks FeelsBadMan
TheNewGuy03 29
That's the kind of shit that kills your boner ... and your soul.
wickedhyype 17
Awee.... Fyl :/
edmunson 22
The ultimate insult, and if the shoe fits...well, you know!