Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
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Top comments
JuzReading 23
Reminds me of that FML where the girlfriend asked her boyfriend to get hard for her even though he was. Anyway, don't worry about it OP, this where your mouth and fingers come in handy.
Cads1 24
Ouch, that's gotta hurt.
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Comments (145)
hank0311 10
Dam bro, I would say grab a pump and get to work but the facts are that just might not be enough. You may be one of those guys that needs to have insane skills with the tong to keep them around. Hey don't knock the tong as long as they are screaming they are happy......unless they are great at faking it. In that case save For a hooker they don't complain they are getting paid to like it
urbanbigfoot 20
wasn't even my sex life and MY pride hurts...
EmpressIzzy 9
I am so sorry for your loss. On the bright side, I hope you eat well.
Stevethatguy 3
All these people get down voted for bringing up anal, why exactly? Sure it isn't going to help OP'S situation but no reason to down vote ether.