Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML
Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML
Today, I got roasted in class because I could've swore that the story of Robin Hood was in the Bible. I was so cocksure of myself, but I guess I shouldn't repeat stuff my dad told me for a laugh when I was about 9 years-old, now that I'm in college. FML
Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend's house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
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Top comments
ricardof 19
maybe his education was also a myth
khorstmye 15
And that is why you are there to tutor him.
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Comments (88)
ricardof 19
maybe his education was also a myth
hugozac88 22
This is where I say you stop trying to tutor this kid because at this rate.....
Wakachulak 22
Might not be that bad. He may just not understand what myth is?
muzy 23
You should send him to the horn of Africa and introduce him to the Somali pirates. See if that changes his opinion a little!
teentee401 37
Whatever you're getting paid to tutor that kid...it isn't enough.
thawny_fml 21
On the plus side, OP is never going to be out of a job.
khorstmye 15
And that is why you are there to tutor him.
tykatdesigns 13
Good luck with him honey
timb1234 13
Wait.. pirates are real!!!!
Exodiafinder687 58
If pirates are real does that mean Somalia is real too?
Enslaved 38
Yes, even the "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything."
Fwibblwfwabble 11
Nah dude Somalia is just a myth, just like the Greeks and the Romans.
griffdaman 10
Well you have your work cut out for you!
ndnpride88 25
Stay strong op stay strong
danielhartlesss 13
Take him out back and put him down, the world is better this way
MidnaLink 35
Calm down Satan. Kid just needs to be shown some proof.
Loveyou6611 20
I laughed more at your reply then at the fml... lol Satan.
brenton490 19
Don't forget to tell him to look at the flowers!!!
AhmadTarhini 8
Brains must be a myth form him too
skippydoda 32
Everyone knows Blackbeard was myth, designed to scare children into never going on a boat. Fairly common knowledge.
Crypticedge 6
Edward Teach was absolutely real. It's Davy Jones that was a myth.
coming back in the future 30
I think that sarcasm went right over everyone's head.
skippydoda 32
I was being sarcastic.
coming back in the future 30
Well shit. Be patient OP.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
@14 People hate Islam because of how proportionally violent they are, 15-25% are radicals that would gladly participate in Jihads and Sharia law (Stats on CIA Website). That is a HUGE number considering the number of Muslims is in the billions. The majority of Muslims are peaceful, however in cases of extremism the majority is irrelevant, as it is the minority that causes so much damage. It is stupid to hate all Muslims because at least 75% of them are peaceful, but at the same time they are the religion with the highest ammount of intolerance and violence in the world, and that is why people fear them
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Whoa, what happened? I replied to the other FML, why did it end up here?