Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
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Top comments
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
wow, I would have giggled to myself has I made up some story to the cops and had him hauled away.
CateXOX 0
It adds extra grip- he's doing you a favor.
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Comments (140)
snorlaxxx 0
ewwwww haha !
ouch1990 0
Rofl
calvin10 0
YDI for riding a bike - even in Berkeley.
CharcoalChicken 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA
alliwannadoishav 0
Brilliant!
littlesunshine_fml 9
i can't stop laughing ....
vmg131 4
wow.. disgusting.
NaturalBueaty 3
Thats funny. Your just a cry baby.
JoeyVapeman 0
Today, I dressed up as a homeless person, and wiped boogers all over some random person's bike. I do this every week, and IMMD.
jvibertyo 0
soo nasty