Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
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Top comments
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
wow, I would have giggled to myself has I made up some story to the cops and had him hauled away.
CateXOX 0
It adds extra grip- he's doing you a favor.
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Comments (140)
soxfan72797 3
why would you ride your bike to "a nice dinner out"?
partygril378 0
gross.
ashleeyka 13
You are all stupid. She probably meant motorcycle. It's called a bike too ya know, and just because she's a girl doesn't mean she can't ride one. I'm sure lots of people take their bikes out for a nice night out
kayemmjay 0
but.... the dinner was good, right?
fuzzypeachnation 4
Epic win!
flyboy96 0
I can just picture that. LOL
TalkinSmack 6
how could u go 4 a nice dinner, but ride ur bike? lol kinda lame
bignasty29 0
Water gun filled With bleach would be a fun way To clean u the mess..........Not the bike, the homeless Man. Nasty ass dude!
sweetxnothings 0
hahahahahaha
yuggi1 11
eww, nasty! Throw him a bag of steaming-hot dog shit. That will teach him! :)