Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
wow, I would have giggled to myself has I made up some story to the cops and had him hauled away.
CateXOX 0
It adds extra grip- he's doing you a favor.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
mahopac56 0
Dude r u fricken ratarted?!?!
looknohands 0
that was me, sorry
Brancha 0
Who the fuq rides a bike to a dinner date
johnnybagodonuts 2
you should've gone outside to eat your dinner right in front of him. then offer him the last piece, eat it yourself and get the hell outta there cause he's probably gonna chase you
darkmis1 18
Maybe if you spent your money on a car and ate in more often, you wouldn't have a booger bike.
jenaandtyler4eva 0
tell him that here's a doller and go make that mcdonalds meal last and at least I got a home and food cause what he did is not right
lmaoatall 6
so obviously you didn't see him wiping his bare ass on your seat? that was funny too!
scottishandrew1 0
lol O-_-O
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lol I couldn't help but laugh on this one...
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
anyone ever stop to think that she maybe one of those types of people that rather own a bike instead of everything that comes along with owning a car? especially the gas prices these days. pretty sure they are high out in cali. not having to gas a car might be how she can afford to go out to eat at a nice place. although the ops idea of a nice place could be something pretty simple such as a coffee shop...