Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
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Top comments
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
wow, I would have giggled to myself has I made up some story to the cops and had him hauled away.
CateXOX 0
It adds extra grip- he's doing you a favor.
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Comments (140)
wriptidez 0
disinfect
fadingaway 17
You observed? You mean you let him wipe snot on your bike and you didn't do anything about it?
edteach 0
it's cool man, I understand your from jersey i forgive you for that, but be aware in the rest of the civilized world that's not ok....
natas_fml 13
you look about 12 years old. stop trying to be so mature now, you'll regret it when you're old and wipe your boogers on bikes.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I agree that it's snot correct to say 'boogers', but who cares. It's an acceptable 'word' that everyone knows. If they said something like 'oogabooga' or something, of course that's unacceptable. But since everyone knows what 'boogers are'...
birdyu7 5
I'm just going to drop this one in here, i ******* hate it when people say boogers, it is not a word and it is very childish.
edteach 0
gay... my last comment was supposed to be directed to
devinewind 4
I doubt that it could have been too nice if you peddled there.
NCR 0
kick his ass
stagemama 0
A nice dinner and you road your bike? Did you chain it to a light pole with a cute power rangers chain also?
Eventuality 5
Chlorox wipes.
screwlife101 0
thts ****** up