Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
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Top comments
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
wow, I would have giggled to myself has I made up some story to the cops and had him hauled away.
CateXOX 0
It adds extra grip- he's doing you a favor.
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Comments (140)
triggahappi273 0
um...you were having a nice dinner out, but no car?? lol.
mysoubriquet 3
That's exactly what I was thinking...
ButtRaep 0
y do u need a car to have a nice dinner out?
mysoubriquet 3
I just can't imagine somebody pulling their bicycle up to Tavern on the Green (for example), leaning it against the building and going in to eat dinner alone (I'm assuming, hopefully this wasn't a date but I guess he could be meeting friends).
mysoubriquet 3
Then again, Berkely has a ton of bicyclists. it's practically part of the town culture. I'm in LA, we take the car to the neighbors house. nobody walks in LA, or rides a bike for anything but exercise.
docscientist 10
Lol, I bet op dresses himself too.
docscientist 10
herself*
underpaid011 0
California...is good to the homeless. california-nia-nia loves the homeless. in the city, city of (where you live), lots of homeless people wiping boogers on bicycle seats....
jakedrums520 0
ahaha
Death_From_Above 0
he's a hobo, if you confront him and don't give him money, he'll chase you for blocks
selbow 3
maybe he thought you could do with some dessert for the ride home ;)
Rangeriffic 0
that's hilarious I would have laughed my ass off and enjoyed the theatrics of the giggling homeless dude
ifiFaLL 1
right? **** my bike i can clean it id be laughing at how stupid thia giggling hobo was hahaha
TheDrifter 24
See, arrogance comes back to haunt you. If you were nicer to the homeless you could have laughed as he skipped past your bike to decorate the next one in line.
smurfman44265034 0
ohh y saw that
jbtheone_fml 5
sounds like a sticky situation
girlylaxfool 3
I would be laughing too. but I Im sorry that sucks bikes are cool.