Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was out camping with my boyfriend and his friends. I asked my boyfriend to give me a roasted marshmallow, asking him if it was cooled down and he said yes. I put it in my mouth and it was piping hot. They all laughed to the point of tears, all while videoing me screaming and running in agony. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my father playing porn in the tent beside me. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML
Today, while camping alone in an isolated area, I was woken up at 3 a.m. by a fellow camper, who then offered me a crayfish and a romantic beach walk as a way of flirtation. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML
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Top comments
Kallian_fml 21
I wish you'd given us more detail, OP, my imagination is terrible!
Cian_1 28
I really want you to re-enact this, film it and give us a link. Sounds hilarious. :P
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Comments (57)
mistress_paz 30
Ouch, don't use fire or piercing metal the first time!
tranced_ 45
Go camping they said, it would be fun they said.
misfitunfit 21
Just in case it wasn't mentioned, please don't hold your partner over an open flame.
RedPillSucks 33
wait. isnt that whats meant bt "chestnuts roasting on an open fire"?
Unrecognisable 12
Straya
abNormal62 23
As you got the sex talk, were you imagining your first time? Who would you have called? You were thinking of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man weren't you? Bill Murray would have been so proud?
LostInTheZone11 29
Nice thinking Ray.
anonpbc 20
we must have an illustration! that's forking gold!
dakatabg 31
That's the best way
vikky538 29
did it go to next level?
jerome72 14
I wouldnt be able to take them seriously
danceinconverse 25
I really hope they made it clear that a male should not in fact have three skewers. Nor should they be sharp.