Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cutycat136 28
"Please, don't flatter yourself" *picks up the condoms, pays for them, and leaves*. Hey don't let them get to you. You're the one that was getting some that night not them :P don't let her comment ruin your good night and don't let a comment like that demolish your confidence.
giantsfan2010 23
She sounds like the one who needs to get laid!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
giantsfan2010 23
She sounds like the one who needs to get laid!
marulicko 19
Who is she to judge though? It's not like she found the cure for cancer or anything.. She's the one selling the condoms :|
giantsfan2010 23
Well she thought OP was hitting on her because he asked where the condoms were. She sounds very conceited
MegaExplosives 17
legally, she cant judge or refuse you when you wanna buy condoms
MDoremis 38
She can't legally refuse to sell them the item, but she can judge all she wants. We aren't living inside The Giver.
Alup132 22
Or Equilibrium... The giver is a basically a copy of a copy. 1984 came first, equilibrium copied it, then the fiver copied it.
AikoRose 15
1984 wasn't first brave new world was well before it and there was liked more before that so get your facts right
KrustyKrab 18
My older sister used to work part time at a pharmacy store, when she first started getting jobs, and guys used to be really creepy and suggestive when they would ask for the condoms. Even though it's not like this at some stores, this girl may have had a bad experience with other customers and took on a defensive position by instinct.
ohSNAPyall 27
What does The Giver have to do with 1984?
MDoremis 38
#72, the books are similar but Orwell focuses more on the dystopian point of view in 1984 while Lowry focuses more on the utopian point of view in The Giver.
mb2_native 15
71, unfortunately, it is always customer service. No matter what, if you are the slightest rude to a customer, you can be fired on the spot if the customer (op), filed a complaint. As long as the customer was within their means of course, if they attempt anything towards you others in the store, by all means, throw their ass out, had to do that a few times only when necessary for the safety of the other customers. I had customers throw change at me, drool on change, and throw tantrums over pennies (when they were used), but I always kept a smile and stayed polite, no matter how hard it was (unless stated above). And that lead me to having the same job for 6 years before I moved to a hunting store for 3 before it closed, now in the contracting field. Employees having a bad day is not an excuse, nor is past bad experiences. All in all, if an employee of any establishment is rude, file a report, or speak to the owner/ manager and they will be dealt with accordingly.
zach205 24
People with bad pickup lines ruin it for all of us
shawnsmuffins 15
I think the point of this fml was that it wasn't a pickup line
SookyLala 13
im pretty sure #2s point was that some dudes use the shitty pick up lines which ruin everday life for people like OP. thats what i read anyhow
Steffi3 40
So let them laugh. Atleast you get to use them
llalala_fml 19
"Oh, you thought I wanted to use these with *you* ?"
TCRII 30
Next time, ask for the family planning section.
chewyca99 14
Condoms are the exact opposite of family planning...
skippydoda 32
It's planning on not making a family.
slingerslasher 24
actually condoms usually are in the "family planning" section, at least where i'm from. that's the euphemistic name for the "sex stuff" aisle.
SalenaCrosse 16
I'm surprised she has a job still with an attitude like that...
jaymartino86 10
She's probably the store manager
SalenaCrosse 16
Oh god...you are probably right, I have heard about so many bitchy managers recently -_-
CreampuffMcKill 11
Don't managers get some kind of performance review?
oobergoober89 16
Should have told her "Sorry, got better things to do, hence the condoms"
Fusion_Fear 14
"If I were buying these to use with you, I'd also be buying a paper bag."
Cian_1 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is where you phone up your significant other and be talking to her as you're buying 'em. That or never shop there again due to shame. :P
myanichole 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, if they were right behind her then I guess I see why she made that assumption.
Morning_fml 22
That doesn't give her a reason to be an arrogant bitch.
myanichole 22
Of course not but still if they were literally right behind her that's just what her point of view seems like, even though her response was bitchy.
cutycat136 28
"Please, don't flatter yourself" *picks up the condoms, pays for them, and leaves*. Hey don't let them get to you. You're the one that was getting some that night not them :P don't let her comment ruin your good night and don't let a comment like that demolish your confidence.
Stazza11 27
Not to mention he was doing the right thing, safe sex is a must ^__^
iseebearbears 27
9- her*, her*
ShadowlessSpear 21
"them" is correct.
hsbzjsnsos 12
should of just told her, and embarrassed her
Purexinsanity 46
Should have* "Should of" makes no sense, much like your comment
iAlissa 34
Easy there, grammar lord