Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
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Top comments
Steve95401 49
And you point to the tiniest animal in the zoo and say "That's what you're hung like".
Kurby14 21
"and that's how i sound when I fake it"
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Comments (58)
amileah13 26
You should point in their pen and say, "Hah! That's where you'll be sleeping tonight!" That'll shut him up!
EvilLittleMan 23
At least he didn't point out a Howler Monkey.
superguydude200 5
This made me laugh pretty hard. I will now express it by saying 'lol'
VeganDarkLight 31
YDI for going to the zoo, most animals are kept under awful conditions there. Besides that, I would have laughed if my boyfriend said something like that. He probably was just joking!
Bossgirlhana 15
Point to an animal that is alone in a cage and say, "That's what you look like because I'm dumping your ass!"
benji36 6
Should have said "No, that's what I sound like when I'm faking it."
walleye9171 3
I'm hung like a horse
OGDono 12
Well he's not getting any for a couple weeks lmao
chocolatejunebug 9
Were does that come from? I mean, what's the point in denying Someone AND yourself a pleasurable activity? You're punishing yourself too!
gintwinsmoore 20
how embarrassing!
smokecloud_ 37
You must be fun at parties.