Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
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Top comments
Steve95401 49
And you point to the tiniest animal in the zoo and say "That's what you're hung like".
Kurby14 21
"and that's how i sound when I fake it"
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Comments (58)
Steve95401 49
And you point to the tiniest animal in the zoo and say "That's what you're hung like".
TacticalBread 7
ducks are small but have long penises
Steve95401 49
Like "Long Duck Dong" in the movie "Sixteen Candles".
ptoka 20
Maybe just a Google search. Ducks have evolved quite a mechanism for such a task.
nityasomaiya 46
Or 'Haa! That's what turns you on ; gorilla's roar..'
FrontRowSquad 8
It's better than being a fish in bed
lexiieeex3 32
What a dick...
badluckalex 23
Hey, at least he is an humorous dick right?!
WipeHour 11
I see what you did there.
cutycat136 28
Have never been to a zoo before, but I believe that's when you look for a hyena and say "ha, yeah and that's what I sounded like after seeing your size for the first time"
photographer49 22
Ahh #4 that's too far
KVYLV 16
I guess you're both animals in bed, lol.
iwanttogotoparis 26
At least you can say your an animal in bed
FiendHunter 19
Tell him he sounds like a chimp in bed.
willyjac 17
Gorillas only mate for about 3 seconds, tell him "ha! That's how you are in bed!"
feven 32
"You wish"
Kurby14 21
"and that's how i sound when I fake it"
CODplayer4lyfe 24
Fake what? He was obviously talking about snoring! *sarcasm*
ironmany_fml 23
fake sleeping obviously