Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
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Top comments
Steve95401 49
And you point to the tiniest animal in the zoo and say "That's what you're hung like".
Kurby14 21
"and that's how i sound when I fake it"
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Comments (58)
skippydoda 32
I would have pulled out my phone to record it and when he asked why tell him "It's the only way you'll hear it any time soon."
Silk_Routes 14
take it as a conpliment!
iiTzNeeNerz 26
& you know this because you've clearly been in bed with Op, right? *eye roll*
rockwrench 18
Nothing wrong with going a little ape in bed.
martin8337 36
We now know that she is a screamer.
Gillett 23
You and me baby making love like GORILLAAAAAAAAS! Now, everybody is talking about his size being small but have you considered WHY she's making those noises?
Gillett 23
THAT BIG MEAT, THAT'S WHY!
writerchic85 26
Tell him it's because he's hung like a gorilla. Gorillas have the smallest penis of all the primates.
hersheykisses511 18
Fml author here, I can't believe it got posted. First time for me so yay!
_ItsJustMeh_ 10
omg I know who you are. I went to the zoo with tou yesterday in Florida and zac your boyfriend said that to you.