Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I had to sleep on couch cushions on the kitchen floor because I saw a tiny spider crawl under my bed. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
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Top comments
FreshSalad 1
Spiders are good in Salads... >.>
ArtIsResistance7 1
YouTube it! You can market it as Spiderman 4: Spidey vs. Wenchosaurus!
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Comments (100)
exiie 0
LOL
Indyy_lew_lew 0
that's awful!! time for a new bf op(:
Day_Dreams 0
The average person eats 8 spiders in their life when asleep.
mattman1994 0
and the average boyfriend films the consumption of an average of 8 of those spiders, earning him an average of 100,000 hits on YouTube
Brittneyyyy 7
^ And the internet lies. Aghhh FYL OP! I would be so mad haha
FreshSalad 1
Not true #7
DocBastard 40
mattman FTW
satanic_fml 13
YDI for sleeping... just kidding that sucks
jpjruler 0
haha that's funny lol. common he was just intrigued give him a break lol. plus it's not like the spider did any physical harm to you so big deal lol suck it up :P
Brittneyyyy 7
#16 just because something isn't physically harming doesn't mean it can't be traumatic.
jpjruler 0
#17 true. but I don't see how a spider can be traumatic in any way whatsoever. granted most people carry a phobia of them they still aren't that big of a deal. all Im saying is there's no need to fly off the handle and dump the guy just cuz he was filming something that is actually kind of comical.
jpjruler 0
#19**
Brittneyyyy 7
Umm well I'll be honest, I'd be somewhat traumatized haha. I'm not afraid of very many things but I nearly have a panic attack whenever I see a spider. Idk, if I watched a video of myself eating a spider in my sleep I'd be kinda freaked out :O
jpjruler 0
yeah he might be making a web In your tummy :P haha :)
Brittneyyyy 7
Or maybe make baby spiders in your belly D:
jpjruler 0
then they crawl back out of your mouth one night and u look like a crazy spiderperson lol :P
samdude151 0
that really sucks. but can i plz see vid =D.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
NUMBER 7 IS CORRECT. That fact was on the all knowing Snapple caps.
Stevefett 0
I hate spiders so much. Can anyone say deal breaker? Disgusting.
kbaker90 0
I think she already did...
kbaker90 0
That was supposed to be a reply to #16 but something got ****** up.
FreshSalad 1
#39 http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp Sorry, but you and #7 are wrong
MrCalves 1
bear grylls doesn't think this is a fml
tienjt 3
I believe the "eating 8 spiders in your sleep in a lifetime" fact was made to see how people would believe anything on the internet was true. How the hell would you prove it true anyway?
SeanFredrick 3
4
chuk_norris_fml 0
they probably record the life of like 100 people and then have thousands of analysts review the tapes and count the number of times a person ate a spider. then they take the average, and voila! thats how they know the average person eats 8 spiders in his lifetime
therealbmw 2
an average of 8 spiders is true renmbr average not evryone and it is proven because alot of people sleep with their mouth open and spiders love dark wet places and they crawl down your throat and eventualy get consumed u won't even notice unless you wake up with one in your mouth then your SOL
nomorehate 0
3 why are you in the bathroom?
melsaraj 9
this is by far the funniest post in the last month!!! your BF is a genus hahahahah
TheEricCartman 0
I moderated this one!
FweakofCydonia 40
No, someone wanted to study internet gullibility so they sent that statement across the internet to see how many people would believe that. Source: Several professors.
gabbielove 0
were the spiders dead when you woke up?
hellokitten 0
haha that sucks dick
oogie_boggie 0
i have a phobia of spiders and i heard that thing about the the average spiders that go in ur mouth is 8 but i thought that was fake im scared now.... eight legs eight eyes ughh freakin myself out
KiddNYC1O 22
apparently so do you #6 lol
te_amo_ily 0
hahhahahahahhahahahha !! 55 !!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
18: It is fake. Check out the Snopes link up in the first thread.
Jonsey92 0
55= win!
gummibloo 0
That is a good douche your dating!
FreshSalad 1
Spiders are good in Salads... >.>
everhood111 0
Salads with spiders sound pretty good.Do you have the recipe?
FreshSalad 1
Of course! Who doesn't?!?!
legitkitty 11
Oh Jesus one time I found a dead fly in my salad mix and I screamed so loud
legitkitty 11
Oh Jesus one time I found a dead fly in my salad mix and I screamed so loud
noora619 0
ahhaha omgg i would put that on youtube but try to close your mouth when your sleeping and a good bf would wake you up before it would get in your mouth
ashrandom 0
ditto. get rid of him.
ArtIsResistance7 1
YouTube it! You can market it as Spiderman 4: Spidey vs. Wenchosaurus!
zach55 0
I heard that that happens about at least four times in your lifetime. or somewhere around four times...
zach55 0
maybe it was eight like 17 said...idk but it's apparently true.
Oupazas 1
Actually it's about 5 times a year, I think.
krissytina 6
I heard it was about a pound in your lifetime but that could just be bugs in general idk
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
It's all ridiculous. How would anyone discover or prove that fact? And the average should vary vastly according to where and how you live-- living in a doorless hut in the African bush would theoretically raise the average, but sleeping in the exact same place, only under a mosquito net would drastically lower it. Snorers or people with sinus issues would have a higher average than closed-mouth sleepers in the same house. It's just silly to trust info like that. There's a link to how the story started up in the first thread. It's a rather enlightening article about how people will believe anything on the internet.
zanesaurus 0
Actually it was on a Snapple cap which makes it true. :P
epr 0
True statement. But the BF thing was a bit funny. If the spider wasn't harmless, then atleast your bf has a sense of cruel humour.
Jesycuh 0
Ha! I wouldn't slapped him right across the head! FYL OP, you should get him back. :] P.S I accidentally hit the "you deserved it" button, stupid touch screen phones but I mean that your life sucks.
xxJORDISxx_fml 4
wow that sucks i wanna see the video