Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, while showering, I noticed a spider drowning in the bath. Spiders gross me out but I felt a moral duty to save it. Reluctantly, I scooped it up and carried it to safety. Then I realised it was my housemate's pubes. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
crazyrunnergirl 7
If your gonna let it live then at least put it outside.
Capt_Oblivious 10
And you knew it was the same spider how? Did you give it a name and name tag?
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Comments (38)
crazyrunnergirl 7
If your gonna let it live then at least put it outside.
coltonp90x 2
Haha no kidding
cudi504 4
How did she know it was the same spider
Damn_Hippster 11
That's the spiders way of saying "thank you"
KiddNYC1O 22
19- Sacrifice?
Choose_Wisely 5
that is why i kill every spider that i can. i. *******. hate. spiders.
pie29302930 0
Your picture is funny, yet scares the shit outta me at the same time since its so weird. Lol
itschubbycake 6
You should of put him outside or put that little ****** to sleep.
elephantom12 9
33 - it's a spider not a 'little ******'... Dick.
n_epic_fail 14
What you should do when finding a spider: -ghetto stomp it -swat it with a shoe -scream and then swat it with a shoe -(if ur one of those life saver types) take it OUTSIDE! -after the fallowing steps are complete, THEN you may take a shower.
itschubbycake 6
36- spiders are little ******* because they scare me >.
Marcella1016 32
umm what happened to the other FML they just posted about the chick's bf giving her a key and changing the locks??
JustHello123 1
Haha
kelsey_katie 17
25, I definately agree.
NeatNit 33
That is just disgusting.
fml8396 0
Bahaha that's why when u see a spider u need to kill that hoe!!!
volley4eva1698 0
when did we get on the topic of gardening? O.o
2ndSucks 15
I never kill spiders without a gardening hoe. I thought that was normal..
ThanksKarma 0
No it's breakfast in bed. OP just got a little impatient with the breakfast on her/his face.
tingway 4
should've just killed it when you first saw it.
calli901 0
whyy didn't youu just kill it when youu first saw it?!
KiddNYC1O 22
They have a right to live too!
DjeePee 25
Yes they do. They eat annoying mosquitos and shit-eating flies, remember?
alexwarfield333 1
Hey do you live in Indy?
monkeybanana 7
I agree with 1... Who let's a spider live that's in their house?
itschubbycake 6
Maybe the OP wanted a roommate.
fatgirllovesfml 0
Boobs!
hannahcorrine 0
That's what you get for being nice ;)
TheBlackCops 0
It's a natural moisturizer.
instnt1nfction 17
Maybe it's maybelline
Capt_Oblivious 10
And you knew it was the same spider how? Did you give it a name and name tag?
heyitsdiamond 5
Don't be rude at least it wasnt you
heyitsdiamond 5
Don't be rude at least it wasnt you
Savra_fml 17
Little OP muffet, sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, who sat down beside her, and fri.......was used to wipe OPs face.
ShyAnn29 15
Lol love it!
Enslaved 38
Curds and whey is old fashion cottage cheese. Just thought I'd throw in a fun fact since I enjoyed your rhyme. (:
mintcar 10
If you want a bug to live, you're supposed to pick it up and place it outside. Not allow it to wander in your home. WTF? FYL, this is pretty disgusting.
THE_A_TEEN 28
It's not a bug, it's an arachnid.