Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved out from his parents' house to his friend's flat. Excited that I wouldn't have to be so silent when we had sex anymore, I went over to spend the night. His bedroom is right next to his friend's 4-year-old daughter's room. FML
Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML
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Top comments
Pointy130 0
And you held your breath WHY?
Jmido 0
Make a threesome, problem solved. Or you can go out and find a gf.
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Comments (41)
Jmido 0
Make a threesome, problem solved. Or you can go out and find a gf.
stfubp 0
YDI for saying shag, thank u austin powers...
keezyisfly 0
Dumbass her username is Cate and also it says he is a female right there in right corner. Loser YDI.
jamsackson 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Stop complaining, your a girl, go out and get some sex. If you're even decently attractive all it takes is going up to a guy and hitting on him and then letting him **** you. Get over yourself and **** if you want to. I hate stupid bitches complaining about getting laid, unless of course you are fat or ugly. Then please do not bother anyone with your fat and/or ugly ass.
annalysse 8
not nice
Pinkraincoat 18
English people actually use thAt word.
emily4040 18
SHE'S a girl.
T1A2Z3 35
She can go find a gf if she wants or a bf or anyone to have sex with or maybe she'd rather wait. Why the **** she was holding her breath though?
Sickillsells 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
1st sent by iPhone.
DaDezza244 31
Fail.
chris_the_G 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first
Dazzozo 0
Well done, you tried (but failed) to beat us in the race of being the first to comment on all new FMLs, your life now has purpose.
gomego87 0
lol
maxdashz 0
8 Minutes late...
Pointy130 0
And you held your breath WHY?
xcutegirlx 6
That's what I was thinking! Hah
perdix 31
Go hold the camera, you lazy bitch, and give us the link to where you post the video! If you are going to suffer in any case, why shouldn't we get some good fapping material while you're up? You probably ought to ********** while the new girl provides the sound effects for you. Tell your housemate how that goes for you. The girlfriend can't be at your house ALL the time. ;)
DaBluedude 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol. creepy. you listened to them??? hah. I'd say join in or just put on some music that drowns it out. YDI for listening and being creepy.
ruben7467 0
two options. have fun solo or you bring a friend. not an fml. i call fake. audio or it didn't happen.
kristidgranger 3
tell him she's too loud or how bout when he is sleeping put u'r music loud to get hi back!
mrollg 0
whenever my band jams we throw in ear plugs..also works for sleeping during loud "events" at night..try it out
jessicadawg 0
Ur friend is gooood.... ;]