Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (303)
ams116 0
Way to early to be drunk..........
lnm701 0
I agree with #10. YDI that one, maybe if you stopped drinking before school, those spelling lessons would have sunk in a little more.
Jaxro 6
What kind of school has an assembly at 7pm?
free_Aus 0
time to get to rehab...
jesseheath 0
**** yes. going to school drunk is awesome.
kk_fml 0
ok everyone, .06 is NOT drunk. The legal driving limit is .08! You can blow a .06 after having just one drink sometimes depending on your size. still embarrassing though #10, why do you assume they meant 7am? that doesnt make any sense
squeegee523 0
if he's in school it doesn't matter if he's legally drunk, he's still been drinking underage.
Rustler 5
She could be in university. which is a "school"
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
I know this is an American FML, but in Australia DUI is 0.05% BAC, which is enough to slow down your reaction times enough to get you killed
zoomster 0
haha they didn't take you in did they?
rka_fml 0
your lying. nt tho.
spazz666 18
I think I just lost 10 IQ points. Nice try though.
featherhead 0
yeah, how do you dare to drink before going to such a thing? that's stupid.
robvicious_fml 0
alcohol remains in your body for hours... (i guess u meant 7:00 am) so if you had 2 or 3 beers the night before it's normal to blow a .06 and I'm not even sure it's illegal.