Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a "nice try." FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
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Top comments
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.
akallaan 7
So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?
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Comments (160)
withgoldeneyes 5
well duh
moop256 10
Proper revenge is in order. Start off small you know throw an egg at their locker and put pudding on the lock. Then write a gay love note for their male teacher who has a thing for 16-20 year old men. Sneeze in your hand and wipe it on their back. Form a nerd union and fight back be rebellious and be creative about your revenge.
hellbilly205 17
No, no you have him all wrong he just wants too compliment on your witty comeback.
moop256 10
Proper revenge is I order start of slowly by egging his locker and putting pudding on his lock. Then throw a water melon at his locker leaves a nice big dent. Then leave a voicemail asking why he sucks so much then throw a water melon at him!!!
AyeTee77 18
Am I the only one wondering what the witty comeback was?!
FruityLoooons 8
Hell, am I the only one who instantly thought of the infamous "NEEEEERRRD!" yell from Revenge of the Nerds?
dadof2 4
i was wondering the same thing how do you come back from being called a nerd
_Oblivion_ 12
31-I was think the one from family guy
elementalz 2
19- then the circle of revenge never stops eye for an eye best thing to do to stop it is don't respond we all know the jock is insecure so he has to do that stuff just walk away and you'll forget about it
kevsnev 7
I have never witnessed that kind of bullying at my school ( jock vs. nerd ). But I'm a nerd myself and my friends are jocks so I don't know what to say. This post was pointless -_-
ThisIsMyReign 4
Haha, I wonder if OP got him with a classic steroid/small dick comeback.
linnie_wesker 20
#69 just because you've never witnessed it yourself that doesn't mean it's never happened.
Unlucky_Gun 0
69 never said it hasn't happened, he said he just never saw it
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.
moop256 10
I thought that was prostitutes
imepelepticsir 5
Epic.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Meal. Time?
chili_is_good 0
Rap battles of history?
BTheIRules 1
Family Guy!
jizzwold 21
When someone says jock what do they mean? Because I've never known of someone who would fit the stereotype in real life.
sadistmonkey 19
Wow, lucky you jizzwold. I thought all schools had their jocks.
XxDevilxXGt 26
And if they do see you (unlikely) you resort to the second defense plan: step to the side when they charge and use your "trip" ability, it's super effective and has a 20% chance for a critical hit.
hossjosh 1
Am I the only one that's wanting to know the nerds witty comeback?
Musicgirl03 8
Most awesome comment +1
Zelda210 0
Nerd uses Trip! It's super effective and has a 80% chance critical attack (depending upon IQ points of said jock)
flamegrilled123 3
What did you think would happen?
slimjim8094 12
I saw this one. They have a competition with all the other frats, and they clinch it with an epic '80s song. Then he nails the jock's hot girlfriend.
Mattador_fml 0
RUN FOREST RUN!
ninjaboy18 6
Waaaaaa ba fet.
Arachu 5
get back in your pokéball.. >.
skittihorse 8
*Forrest
TexasMud 8
Reach into your pocket and pretend you're pulling out a gun. That ought to stop him dead in his tracks If this doesn't work pull out a pen and poke him
Mattador_fml 0
Thanks for correcting my error.
Zelda210 0
Don't worry, the average jock has a very low IQ score, and is easily confused. Down on hands and knees, meow, and tada, you are ninja cat, enjoy!
akallaan 7
So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?
wironandine 8
Stop saying "like a boss." so old and unoriginal..and annoying.
ssnowywinter 0
Not sure if the use of 'bronze' over 'brawns' is intentional... perhaps to refer to medals won as he joins said track team?
msl1333 4
Not sure if the use of "brawns" over "brawn" was intentional. "Brawns" is not a word. "Brawn" means possessing muscular strength.
mama2b3 20
Hopefully he's not on the track team or something. .
EvilTwerp 12
He could be on the football team or basketball team. Both sports require the players to run, and to run fast.
diidiimi 10
I think it's the difference between an ability to sprint or having long-distance stamina. Hopefully our nerd also had a bit of a head start.
RussianFox 13
Once again proving the stereotype that most guys who very athletic are douches.
echoes185 9
It depends on the type of sport
RussianFox 13
Notice how I said "most". Saying all would be ignorant.
Blacksabbath211 9
Unfortunately there are also a fair amount of non-athlete douches Dx They tend to be more common than douche-letes these days :/
DictatorDom 5
The worlds full of douches. It's just that athletic douches are also conceded douches.
HattedMad 7
55 - *conceited
jizzwold 21
I think even saying most athletic people are douches is an ignorant statement. Maybe where you guys live is full of dicks but there are plenty of "nerdy" kids who are good at sports here.
ALpein 0
@72 ... W... what?
StalinsHeir 1
Eeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!!! Comrade fox!
mikeymayhem_87 15
Douche-letes. Clever!!
rocklare18 7
Not really...
midnightsky1 3
The jock couldn't take his own medicine..
stephissilly 18
he'll end up working for you, don't sweat it.
tylerryder 4
Jocks can't be smart?
ladyLALAA 29
It's true, I read it on the Internet once.
kapryiath 4
Sure jocks can be smart.. But wouldn't that make them smarter than to taunt someone for being smart?
fmlbrofml 0
Am I the only one who thought of the song 'loser like me' from glee after reading that comment,? :P
ninjuh_wingman 29
You dont have to be fast. You just have to be faster than him.
PuffDaddy395 3
The bully is an athlete, good luck being faster than him.