Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
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Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
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Comments (303)
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
chaos753159 4
mabye he used listerene before school that stuff has alot of alchol
inSayne 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
what were you doing at school at 7 o'clock at night??
StaciCarol 2
You do know that the fact that it has alcohol can increase the reading and the Breathalyzer takes from the lungs, not just from the mouth. Thats they as you to blow hard ( I know that sounds sexual ).
cniggs 0
better yet why was school at 7 pm? its after 5 so you can't blame her
bluekid7 5
those are some delicious abs ma'am
natsaysheyyy 16
Seriously?! IT'S 7PM.
evamusical 12
I think it's pretty normal to have meeting in the evening at school for things like this, especially when parents are invited
shelbeee 0
hahaahha how embarrassing.
cady2 0
your the fuckhead who got drunk to go to a drunk driving assembly at school. YDI dumbass.
BoWZeR 1
ydi for going to school
mazuma 0
he probaly drove drunk to a drinking and driving assembly.
erika_lynnex 1
in soviet Russia their alchohol blows .06%
My2864 1
0.6 isnt drunk.....
thatonek1d 0
have you read the listerine to cover up the alcohol fml??
YourMiserableBoy 0
actually number 226: .6 is extremely drunk, like you would probably die if you were that drunk. however the OP said .06 which is fairly drunk.
karishmo 2
thoughs joke r ******* dumb
meganannee 0
that was the worst soviet Russia joke I've heard.. :/ and I usually like them. try again!
gkings18 1
that was absolutely awful
kirstyannemiller 4
227 *those Sorry I hate when people can't spell
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
0.5% is almost clinically dead level, so 0.6% would be hospitalised with alcohol poisoning and possibly dead
bubblesBVB61113 12
292 yeah that's true…but OP blew a .06% not a .6%
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
akvc 0
so very true
Gavik 0
Showing up to school with .06? Impressive.
Gavik 0
Showing up to school with .06? Impressive.
tofuzoo52 0
very.
capslockisgood 19
You could say you're shy.
a_b15 0
i really hope you said you were on a lot of dayquil or something
starberries 0
Dayquil doesn't contain alcohol...
Jezlovespink 5
Nightquil lol or tylenol liquid or mouthwash ect....lots of excuses
trynightday 0
Showing up to school with a .06? Retard.
enave 0
ur ugly
gkings18 1
i'm gonna have to agree with you on that one there juilan
jzbajus 8
209- what an asshole.
taureau139 0
#4... since when was a .06 drunk???? you can drive on a .08 or below....
bryceizbombin 0
doesn't matter the person had alcohol in their system as a minor..at school.
SonnyBoii 0
.06 isn't shit... thats what, 1 beer?
ironwords 8
244 if it's 7:00 pm then it might be a college. or a boarding school, also you can graduate when your 18, really we don't have enough details
audreyy062 2
or maybe, since the parents were there, it was a separate meeting that everyone had to go to.
iloveredvines 4
Depends on where you live. In NY, if you have .01 you're considered drunk.
newmandotcom 6
Just because you don't blow a .08% doesn't mean they can't get you. If the cop feels you are driving dangerously, they can legally get you at a .01%. If you blow a .00% then they can get you for reckless driving.
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
0.05% is the legal limit to drive in Australia. In the average male that's approximately 4 standard drinks. Just putting it out there for people
johnsimpson116 6
.02 is considered a DUI if you are under 21
jobekka 20
not everyone lives in the same country :/
marykateex3 0
Even though people naturally produce alcohol and the levels could be higher due to taking cough syrup or something, you couldn't have blown a .06 without having been drinking. Therefore, YDI. Stop drinking and learn to write. I think you were going for "7:00 am," "field," and "in front."
XFlyingxPiranhaX 0
Not necessarily- OP said that parents were there, which might be 7:00 P.M.
sampimpinthug 0
wow marykate, relax there! so the op made a few grammatical errors, who doesn't we are all humans after all. well atleast I am, notnsute about you. although i do agree with you that the op totally deserves it since she chose to drink herself.
sabers56 0
Change ur damn tampon
MidnightWolf3 12
Just like others are saying, I agree...They most likely meant 7pm. If it was am, why would the parents be there and not at work?
shanannygians07 28
I think op meant field. As in FIELD sobriety test.
kelemen 2
I'll bet you think you're really ******* special for pointing out a few typos. Get the tampon out of your ass and stop tearing others down because you're a **** with low self esteem.
tenniselle8 0
why would you show up drunk to an assembly about drinking and driving? where cops were present... dumbass, you deserved it.