Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
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Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
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Comments (303)
laxingitup 0
if you were living in texas, you'd be sitting in jail. Zero Tolerance= 0.00 BAC or bust. and not to mention your folks would also be f****d cuz they bought it
krazykat 0
If you are in college - This is hilarious. If not - be careful!!
Acerbitas 0
I don't get it....isn't the legal limit like 0.08?
bearie_fml 0
In most states, it is 0.02 for those under 21, however, if he/she were not drinking, there are several medical conditions (can't remember the names off hand, but I remember reading about them in one of my physiology classes) that manifest themselves in a false positive for breathalyzers, and should talk with a doctor. If he/she was drinking, they totally deserve any and all consequences from this.
screwthisstuff 0
obviously they didnt take him/her in or charge her because shes writing this. last time i checked they dont have free internet in detainment
blackkohl 0
hahahaha why would you voluntarily go to this assembly after school hours if you had been drinking?
BiggieA 0
loser! thats funny though
tropmignon 0
hahahahahha omg FYL but yeah im pretty sure the OP did mean 7pm. because if parents were there then it must have been like evening thing. my school just had one of those about drugs.
ZuRG_fml 7
@"0.02 would get you a ticket if under 21": I don't know if this happens anywhere else, but in drunk Wisconsin, minors can be served alcohol at restaurants/bars/etc if a parent's present in person to give consent. There's no lower limit on the books, it's at the discretion of the proprietor: "sir, this is a damn 8-year-old. No."
tinkerbell67 0
i'm pretty sure you mean .06%