Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
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Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
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Comments (303)
Francis_fml 0
#31 and all other idiots saying that .06 would be legal... he's in high school- any amount of alcohol in his system is considered illegal. you can't drink under 21 legally in the US (where I am assuming he lives), even if it's a sip.
nattt__ 0
ahaha wowww, like yeah sure alot of people get drunk at school or whatever, but have some common sense and skip the DRUNK DRIVING assembly!
monicamischief 0
why is everyone bashing the OP? it could be a teacher or parent and even if it wasn't a student; like you've never had a drink before going to school.. : S that's not drunk that's like having a glass of wine before going to an assembly whoever voted YDI has a stick up their ass.
ltkrich 0
Wow dude you are like my hereo!! I mean seriously a 16 year old who forgot he came to school drunk! Maybe you still had alcohol on your breathe from the fetal alcohol syndrome you had in the womb! Jack-ass...
RhynoD 0
#9 .08 is when they arrest you on the spot for DUI. Above .02 is something like DWI, a lesser charge, but still serious. Mind, that's if you over 21. If you're under 21 (in the US, anyways), anything above a .02 is a DUI. That's the legality of it. Biologically, there are people with high tolerances that you'd think had never touched a drink even when they blow a .10. On the other hand, I know tiny tiny girls that get wasted on fumes and would probably blow a .05 or something even if by looking you'd think they were doing straight shots of Everclear.
nattt__ 0
#77 - LMAO!
hottie102 0
First of all why did you even go drunk to school and second of all thats really high for even the usual.
dkcc1988 0
The OP could still be drunk from drinking the previous night. If he/she was up until 2 or 3 drinking, then blowing a .06 in the morning is reasonable.
l33tm0nk3y 0
First: What the hell kind of school has an assembly at 7 PM anyway? Aren't those public service type things usually done during the school day when the kids are required to be there anyway? Second: If OP is a student, and not a teacher/parent, YDI. Based on BAC calculators I could find online, you'd need at least 3 beers or so to blow a .06, and that's if you only weigh 100 lbs. Which I doubt you are - most high schoolers are bigger than that. If OP is a parent/teacher, then it doesn't even deserve to be on this site. It's below the legal limit, and if the assembly was at 7 PM it's completely reasonable that an adult might have had a few beers after work/school, or with dinner. Mouthwash could give a false reading, but it's not like cops don't know about that, and they have protocols to guard against wrongly accusing people in such cases - for instance, waiting a few minutes for the alcohol in the mouth to evaporate and trying again to see if there was a significant drop in the reading (which there should be for mouthwash-related errors). If the cop was giving a true-to-life example of a field sobriety test, he should have done this and you'd be proven innocent - no life-******* involved. So yeah, this is either a YDI or a complete non-issue.
andy_fml_fml 0
I LIKE YOU WHEN YOU MAKE ME COOKIES. AND BEER,