Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
parism143 28
Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.
stretchedthin 20
um why didn't you talk to her instead?
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Comments (210)
mishacollins 15
I don't see the FML here. You've raised an excellent daughter, great parenting OP!
laurenydg 2
Omg
ImSuchAnHero 2
Poor OP, today, I found out my daughter isn't a ****. fml. Society is done for
Raesin 21
Imo, you went about that the wrong way. I'd be so upset if my mother had bought me condoms. Not only would that tell me that she thinks I'm a ****, but a dumb **** too. Luckily we had that conversation years earlier and I asked about different methods of contraception and when the time was right, went for the implant. This FML only tells me that you don't know your daughter very well, and should maybe talk to her more. Shouldn't a mother know these things about her daughter? Lucky you that you have a daughter like that OP, she sounds like she knows herself pretty well and doesn't need to have sex to validate herself, like most teenage girls seem to.
annalily5 28
Yes, every teenage girl having sex is doing it for validation. It has nothing to do with personal enjoyment of sex.
frizz101 22
They didn't say all, they said most. I would try and post a link to statistics backed by science, but last time I did, it was erased.
Psyker_Girl 13
You've got nothing to worry about. She sounds like a great kid.
papayeya 18
WTF is wrong with u?
Airplane7721 7
you should be proud
TheCrispyCat 20
How is that supposed to help?
xautumnwillsx 15
I don't see the fml. It's better she's like that.
FMLitsFire 4
is she single?