Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
parism143 28
Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.
stretchedthin 20
um why didn't you talk to her instead?
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Comments (210)
MaryPoppins88 14
This shouldn't be a FML you should be happy that she's not interested in that stuff yet plus she sounds like a pretty cool kid
awilliams44 9
I don't think this is an fml I think this is a thank god. be thankful ur daughters not a how who goes around having sex with all these guys. I'd be very proud of her
FMLworthy5000 21
Your daughter is awesome.
Robert1989 9
she's ****** anyways.
Tinad01 12
I dont know why all the comments that are about teaching your daughter to not have sex as an adolescent are being voted negatively. What person goes out and buys their child condoms? It only makes it that much easier for us.Just explain the importance of condoms and then explain the importance of wait until marriage until having sex. If ya dont have sex, you dont need to worry about condoms. (;
lbguitarist 7
May I please date your daughter?
M3talGuitarist 9
Childhood done right!
jmayer12 14
A responsible parent would not let his/her daughter have sex outside of marriage, which is where it belongs. Teach your daughter to respect herself and respect others more than making them simply objects of sexual pleasure
xxrebelsxx 13
Your daughter sounds like me lol
mia_marie01 11
No hate here but I just don't see why that's such a bad thing! You should be happy that your daughter doesn't need to use the condoms. Oh well just not really sure how that's an "fml"