Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
parism143 28
Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.
stretchedthin 20
um why didn't you talk to her instead?
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Comments (210)
FlyingMonkey228 5
Hi five....she didn't even get grossed out by the lube? I think the best birth control for teen girls is knowledge. If they see teen boys as the dumbos they are (I went to a mixed school) willingness to down trou is sooo unlikely. The local girls school had four teen pregnancies...gullibles...
skyeyez9 25
So its considered an FML when your daughter isnt interested in sex yet? I'd be happy if I were you!
nhormuss 17
As a jewish orthodox guy who's parents would murder him if they found out he was even talking to girls, I salute you.
marramrammar 2
You should be celebrating!
Ray_of_midnight 23
Congrats on being a good mom, but just maybe you should have asked your daughter about what role boys and dating occupy in her life first before jumping into things.
Kiera_abbi 7
she sounds awesome haha! if she needed them she would probably keep a couple just in case :) thats what i would have done when i was younger anyway :P
Raging_hamster 5
What the hell is wrong with you?
magiczebra 9
God forbid a mother wants her daughter to be educated about sex and have protection available! Teaching abstinence doesn't work. If a teen wants to have sex, they will. We should be teaching teens how sex works, the risks involved and how to protect yourself from said risks, not "don't do it, it's bad". You're doing the right thing, OP.
A7XCamaro 19
The problem is condoms do have a life span, especially if not stored properly, so if the daughter wasn't having sex in the near future it could do more harm than good.
tj4234 36
I really, really want to know the context of this fml. So much so i used really 3 times in this comment. Follow up please :D
skipper2009 18
Curious are we?
tj4234 36
actually, yes
alex_gen 39
Wouldn't responsible mean turning her towards abstinence? I mean the way you're going, it's like you want her to be sexually active. I may not be a parent, but I sure wouldn't buy a condoms or even birth control for my children. They should know better than to do that as teenagers.
TogeBara 12
Kids will do what they will do, OP is a better parent for recognizing this and not deluding him/herself into thinking otherwise. Best to use some form of protection than the kid not have access to it and end up with a kid they can't raise or an STD. You need to learn how life REALLY is and stop it with the delusions.
haynicole 7
Yes because teens totally don't have sex just because their parents want them to stay virgins. What reality do you live in? Is it not better that she provide her daughter with protection in the event that she does want to have sex? So she can avoid pregnancy and disease? Isn't THAT what a parent should do? No? Mkay....sure hope your kids don't get pregnant.
Sheh_fml 25
No, a responsible parent get their children protection instead of letting them risk STI's and pregnancy just to teach them a lesson. And why would it be so bad if she is sexually active? It's sex, not homicide. "Teenager" can be anything from 13 to 19, and according to most countries laws, you are old enough at about 16.
glabberfasted 16
Kids who want to have sex won't abstain due to lack of protection. Most adults won't even do that.
insanelyXnikki 18
There's no changing that guy's mind, he even talks about being against pre-marital sex in his bio. Weird...
annalily5 28
I foresee teen pregnancies in your children's future. Also, birth control is good for a lot more than birth control. Denying children a medicine if they need it just because it can be used to prevent pregnancy is being a bad and stupid parent on many, many levels.
skipper2009 18
You all do know that condoms/ birth control does not protect against STDs right?
annalily5 28
Who told you condem's don't protect against STDs? Because they do, ask any half-compitant doctor.
skipper2009 18
Annalily5 - how about you read the box? Or are you not compitant enough?
amisenho 11
You've fallen into the same trap a lot of people fall into when discussing this sort of thing: believing that offering protection and well-cited information equals indifference or permission. On the contrary, providing information is a part of being a responsible parent, not a careless one. It's better for teenagers and adults alike to know that they have options instead of ignorantly leaving them in the dark out of disagreement and risking their safety. We already know that teens will do what they want to do; even as infants, some children will still find ways to hide their antics from their parents. Offering condoms or other prophylactics is not another way of saying, "I don't care about your well-being." The only thing a parent should be worried about is if they have a child who has been well-informed on how females get pregnant and provided information about contraceptives and safe sex and, for some silly reason, still chooses not to use them because they think they're invincible.
kendallfireHD 16
I would feel really awkward if my mom gave me condoms.