Anonymous
Where is my mind?
Today, after 10 beers and a 1/3 of a bottle of Jack, I felt an undeniable urge to go rabbit hunting with lawn darts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
anon
United States
You played yourself
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
WhereIsIt?
North Lakes, Australia
Frustration
Today, I came home from a nine-hour shift and all I want is to sit down with a glass of Baileys. I can't find the key to the liquor cabinet. FML
yif2
United States
Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML
Darwin_Award_Winner
Beaumont, United States
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Kristen Duncan
Spokane, United States
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
"Sonofaquiche"
No Ragerts
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
Jerrrr
United States
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
nemi
Norway
All over the place
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Anonymous
Houston, United States
Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Maybe that'll work, Elmer. Your previous methods netted no wascally wabbits!
brockwaycc 3
Serves you right. It’s probably in your best interest to stay far, far away from alcohol.
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Comments (10)
cuz803 46
Well since this is a FML, I guess that's a bad thing? Maybe go to rehab and try to get help for your alcoholism before your liver gives out. Then you'll save your life along with the poor rabbits.
RichardPencil 32
Maybe that'll work, Elmer. Your previous methods netted no wascally wabbits!
Jesse Duff 15
ok...you felt the urge, and you definitely over indulged...but did you actually follow through on the urge...cause you definitely deserved it, but I'm also hoping you weren't alone, cause you could've really hurt yourself or anyone in the area at that point.
Chazzster 32
I am pretty sure that means you are an alcoholic or at best a functioning alcoholic - Not because of the rabbits but because of the quantity of alcohol you consumed.
brockwaycc 3
Serves you right. It’s probably in your best interest to stay far, far away from alcohol.
Regis Bent 12
I see no down sides to this idea
Wadlaen 24
Surprisingly, that's not as uncommon as one should think!😅 Good luck on your hunt!
Hangryko 32
Please get help for your alcoholism.
AutisticPat 10
Please get help. Your drinking habits aren’t normal.
Jonkbaby 23
Could be anger issues, doesnt hurt to talk to someone OP