Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
parism143 28
Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.
stretchedthin 20
um why didn't you talk to her instead?
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Comments (210)
NeverTrustADuck 6
I don't see what you're complaining for...
ahippienamedrae 10
While I applaud her for being responsible, buying her condoms isn't quite as effective as talking to her.
nick3600 22
i bet she's like 13
gillyshark 6
why is this a fml?
worldclassrager 41
Smart girl...but if she was going to be sexually active I would think she would be for sure taken...
doglover100 29
She seems fine.
franklydizzy 5
your kid is awesome. sounds like she isn't ready yet and letting you know without having to talk about it. if video games are her first love then you don't have much to worry about :)
storminmormin14 12
You are an idiot and a horrible parent.
Polychromasia 18
Could be that she isn't straight so she didn't think she needs them?
skittyskatbrat 19
Proactive parenting :D Just show her the prices on them vs. a pack of balloons, let her know where you'll keep them if she needs them in the future, and when you find a condom used, take her off to the doc for a backup form of birth control. Remember, here in MO, up until a couple years ago, the entire sex ed class consisted of describing the menstrual cycle and telling the kids that condoms fail constantly and to never have sex. Kids have sex. Teaching them about it delays it, providing them with contraceptives keeps them safe, and it sounds like you've done both. And....your daughter's sense of humor rocks! That is the BEST reaction I've ever heard of! Way to go!!!