Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, I was hosting my kid's birthday party. I had a bunch of small trinkets, so I grabbed the first container I could find to put them in. It wasn’t until I went out and someone yelled, "I’ll take a heavy flow!" that I realized it was an empty tampon box. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
I will now perform a magic trick. I will need a volunteer and a condom.
GriffZilla 3
"But mummy, this one is strawberry flavoured"
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Comments (85)
saIty 17
I will now perform a magic trick. I will need a volunteer and a condom.
Puffytruffles 18
Her boyfriend is probably Chris Griffin. Found that condom in a toilet.
Eluveitie 9
I doubt it.
CaptinFalconKnig 6
I bet dinkleberg would like to volunteer.
_duhastmich 11
I volunteer as tribute!
sunnyt 5
At least you aren't allergic to latex.
yoyoforpeace 14
Tell him to save the condoms because you clearly should not breed with this man.
7yzz 18
And thats why you never trust PedoBear to perform at your child's birthday party instead of the clown. Even if he gives you a super-duper-bear-promise!
oj101 33
Kids are innocent. They won't know the difference. Not sure the parents would be too happy though...
andyyroxx 20
"Mom! Mom! MOM! This balloon is so slippery, can I keep it? :D"
HKCgrimmjow 15
Yes I'm thinking more of the psychological value this holds... Once the kid realizes... Yeah if your boyfriend can't figure that out then you might wanna find a new one mate
browneyedgirl52 13
Definitely not. It's time for a new boyfriend.
7yzz 18
@60 -_- grow up. you've probably never had a boyfriend.
carry_on 19
Probably better to stick to using balloons next time, they won't be as slippery.
nnnope 26
But imagine the hilarity of watching the children chase around the slippery 'balloon animals!'
GriffZilla 3
"But mummy, this one is strawberry flavoured"
TheZee 12
"Strawberry! My favori- aah... Son, give me that! Now, I will give that to your daddy so he can 'throw it away' once we get home."
Kidkaplan 19
Im sure they make great balloon animals
Darksoul09 16
Some kids on my bus when ai was in school made a bunch of them. Some went out the window into the street, others were flown up to the front. The funny part is that they were taken out of this guy's bag, and they were Smalls. (He talks about "getting laid every other day" just wanted to share. sorry about the novel.
Freedom92 12
No apology necessary, gave me a laugh:)
supportcommand 17
But they can be inflated so much more than a ballon. And stronger too. Just don't use the ribbed ones.
watsinausername 13
Was he using his mouth to inflate 'em?
stronghand0331 17
I'm pretty sure he stuck them on his bunghole and farted to blow them up..
shan88 14
What else would he use? His nostril?
StephenStills 6
What kind of retarded question is this?
LovesSushi 25
Better than putting them in the goodie bags.