Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
parism143 28
Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.
stretchedthin 20
um why didn't you talk to her instead?
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Comments (210)
Fluffy283 8
Hey, at least she wasn't interested. Better than putting them to use right away.
sunnysunsunftw 3
That's the opposite of responsible, I like this child of yours.
LUFT 12
haha your daughter is awesome :) maybe she's having sex with women...she wouldn't need condoms for that ;D
awkward_gothlady 32
She could still get STDs from other women...
Pareidolia101 15
I like her already.
FemskyD 26
Thats sorted =D try again in a year!!
Omni7 11
How old is your daughter and sir this is in all manner a win
brittttthhhhh 7
Ha, watch out! She's tricking you..She probably has her own pack.
Dcm210 19
Kid or not, as long as she uses protection. At least you tried.
mkayden 23
*applause* I'd be happy, it kind of indicates that she isn't interested in sex,
charliewhippet 9
Um, if she's at an age where she's playing video games and making balloon animals she;s probably not old enough to be having sex... and buying her condoms isn't going to magically make her emotionally mature enough to handle it.
squideth 18
What the **** are you talking about? I'm 24, fully support myself, and I play video games. Guess I'm not mature enough for sex.