Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
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Top comments
chocolateisyum 12
Well that must have been a slippery situation.
Pleonasm 36
Lovely image, thanks. I can't imagine your butt being any cleaner than today.
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Comments (106)
catwho 18
I don't know which would be more dirty after that.
fml0505 22
That's why you always kung fu grip the sides of the toilet.
Calingaladha 21
The porcelain god demanded you be prostrate, I guess.
outoftown 27
Hey, you found a new slip-and-slide!
jessBeAqueen 13
I have a feeling that the weather wasn't the only thing causing op to sweat profusely. what did you eat OP that made you feel like you were giving birth ???
w_introuble 25
Where does it say that op felt like giving birth?
jessBeAqueen 13
i was imply that that runs he probably had contributed to the sweating. I wasn't being literal.
10showgirl 16
It doesn't say that he had the runs...
CharresBarkrey 16
If you insist on making up details to this story, I must point out that the "runs," or diarrhea, would not feel like giving birth as diarrhea is somewhat liquid and not hard to pass. Now that your comment's been blown wide open with holes, just admit you misread the FML.
singer0421 32
As least you didn't slip off while using it if you know what I mean.
Oxidation 5
Shower beforehand next time. Sounds odd, but in general it's a good idea to just cool off every once in a while. If it's an emergency, I suppose all you can be is cautious.
jw90 18
What a shitty experience.
Pesticides 19
Never let your ass touch the grass! (or floor in this instance)
perdix 31
No, I know enough physics to plop my ass directly over the toilet, so I can stay put even when the coefficient of sliding friction approaches zero due to copious ass-sweat. It's good to be a nerd!
acs123acs 22
But if the coeficcient of sliding friction approaches zero a small force in any horizontal direction would cause motion. Unless the coefficient of static friction is high enough to keep you from starting to slide.