Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to pee really badly. I rushed to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and sat on the toilet. After a few seconds of peeing, I realized I had only pulled down my pants. Not my underpants. FML
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML
Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML
Today, I wore new trousers to work. As I walked to my desk, I noticed a weird damp patch near my zip. Panicking, I thought I'd pissed myself. I rushed to the bathroom, then figured out that it was the condensation from my lunch container, which was in my bag that I had on my lap during the bus ride to work. FML
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Top comments
UserError94 18
The lesson? Don't pee with an awkward meeting boner
xoxoblondee 31
Sounds like an (embarrassing) get home free pass.
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Comments (34)
UserError94 18
The lesson? Don't pee with an awkward meeting boner
olliebush123 15
advice for life
TweetAnne 13
YDI for not paying attention before starting your business. I always make sure the seat is down before using the toilet. If I don't and fall in then that's my fault and my husbands for not putting the damn seat down.
UserError94 18
The toilet seat was down and he didn't fall in. What are you talking about exactly?
anonymuse_fml 31
I would imagine that the seat would have had to be down for the urine to be hitting the underside while the OP was taking a dump... either that or else they were sitting backwards or somehow managed to aim the pee over their shoulder and hit it behind them which would be impressive, but wouldn't make sense with this FML.
GreenArrow085 6
So if you always check before starting your business then how is it your husbands fault? BTW have you not heard of the feminist movement? Put your own seat down
thisguy22 33
Not your husbands... Totally your fault.
Kiernan151 25
I think how it happened 10 is that he just shoved his penis into the bowl and pee was spraying out from between the gap between the seat and the bowl. Happened to my grandpa and it makes a terrible mess with no sound.
anonymuse_fml 31
#25 - I realize how it happened... The entire second half of my post was tongue-in-cheek toward #10 since she totally missed what happened in the FML and went off on an unrelated tangent.
RubeusSwagrid 11
Better than halfway through the meeting I guess. Either way, urine trouble if you use public transport.
xoxoblondee 31
Sounds like an (embarrassing) get home free pass.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
I've had to wrestle with the toilet from taking mine after a flush.
foxy_grampa 19
You would think we would have made toilet seats that would prevent that by now
onlychildFTW 34
We have, for toddlers. Adults shouldn't need them...
snarkytruth 37
Maybe that's the reason some people get completely naked when they poo. (Ever notice it's only guys that do that?!) Pro tip: Always keep a complete change of clothes in your office as well as a casual set in the car. And If you pee sitting down wrangle that bad boy to keep its head down.
RubeusSwagrid 11
Urine trouble if you use public transport...
CoGhostRider 31
Why make basically the same comment twice?
lightningclicks 24
I'm just impressed at your knowledge of toilet terminology
MisterEx 28
Small wang too, eh? It's ok OP. I got your secret covered. I know that because uh, a friend told me a similar story once, after causally telling me his size. A friend. Yes.