Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
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Top comments
chocolateisyum 12
Well that must have been a slippery situation.
Pleonasm 36
Lovely image, thanks. I can't imagine your butt being any cleaner than today.
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Comments (106)
chocolateisyum 12
Well that must have been a slippery situation.
hemz_fml 13
At least you didn't soil your pants, you hear a lot about that on FML.
thatkidhesh 11
ass sweat while taking a shit. disgusting. at least the fall didn't accelerate your dump!
imaginaryvoice 18
Ah, yes. Ass sweat. Happens to me all the time. I always just poke my head through the bottom of the stalls and stare at them. Makes them forget all about you slipping off the toilet
MzZombicidal 36
I already have a hard enough time using public restrooms because of the disgusting toilets. I'd have a fit if I ended up on the floor! Hopefully you had finished up by then.
Chris425 12
**** you. Fake fml YOLO SWAG YOLO SWAG YOLO SWAG
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
It doesn't say she was in a public restroom, however, for her sake I hope it was not.
asapp78 16
I don't even know what to say to that...
Nordrag 26
I don't know what to say! But I want top comment! Better just say that I don't know what to say... Brilliant.
Chris425 12
FML sucks freedom of speech booker Dewitt is comstock
bfsd42 20
I have an interesting idea. How about instead of feeding off bad comments just to get your comment noticed, you instead just thumb it down, let it get buried, and move on. In my opinion, these dumb replies to bad comments are as over-used as the bad comments themselves.
Shrike 24
Just a little hypocrisy there, no?
Pleonasm 36
Lovely image, thanks. I can't imagine your butt being any cleaner than today.
NeatNit 33
related: boy or girl? ass-hair or no ass-hair?
Danielle7994 18
37, Lol why would those factors even matter??
Druu 53
#55, going to say ass hair would provide traction. Shit, works for polar bear paws.
idgafSOstfu 15
I bet now the floor is gonna smell like ass.
cuppycakeslove 20
If it was a public restroom it probably already did
imtooshy 18
We know you landed on the floor but did the excrement land in the toilet or on the floor with you?
ZeroPath5 16
I'm kinda scared to find out.
Druu 53
Could be a woman peeing. In which case, it went EVERYWHERE.
imtooshy 18
True, but men standing seem to get it everywhere too many times as well.
challan 19
As if putting your bare ass on a public toilet want bad enough, putting it on the rest room floor?!! Nasty! Buy some powder if you are sweating so bad! Sorry OP!!
KiddoKS 19
Anti-Monkey Butt Powder to be specific... Yes, it's a real product!
sadistmonkey 19
I don't think the OP would use the word "restroom" if it weren't public.
RedPillSucks 33
@29. Thank you so ******* much for making me google anti monkey butt spray. They come in his and her varieties. Apparently the ladies ass sweat needs the delicate kind.
cmac86 24
good product. I reccomend it. I use it everyday, and where I live it's VERY hot and humid.
TrinityisLife 22
I've done it :x It's a literal pain in the ass.
HarroIAmBob 21
on a related note, whats a good way to get a disturbing mental image out of your head?
escobar07 10
How the hell does anyone slip off the toilet from a seated position???
Pesticides 19
sweat+toilet seat=slipping. some cheap grade toilet seats have no tracyion whatsoever.
Mr_Satan 11
Taco Bell
zandalee 20
Also, from personal experience, alcohol can lubricate matters somewhat...
jisaac09 25
@9, that was what I was thinking too. Where was OPs feet/legs during all of this? Maybe I am crazy but I would brace myself off of the floor/sink/walls/ceiling before I would let myself fall off of the throne while I am doing my business.
acs123acs 22
@9, could be that the floor and/or seat is not level making it easier to slip off.
RainbowInput 8
Some places in the US, like Las.Vegas, are hitting 115 degrees Fahrenheit. There's gonna be some slippery butt sweat.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Sounds like you're a bum...
Glitter_taco_ 10
That joke went by faster than Lebrons hair line
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Thanks- That's tennis, right?
golden_warrior 23
#20 is probably a butt hurt Tim Duncan fan
thatkidhesh 11
'when you can't beat them being out the hairline jokes.' - every NBA fan who's team just played the Heat.
Glitter_taco_ 10
#32 who the hell is Tim Duncan