Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, my cat pooped in the shower. How did I find out? I didn't see the poop when I got in. I slipped in it, and smacked my head on the tile wall. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
I can just imagine OP sitting back down only to hear a *squish* and then that *Wa Wa* music play and OP puts their hand on their forehead and shakes their head
Pelreskovich 11
That's shitty. Could be worse, could have pooped on the cat. That would have been wonderful to clean up.
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Comments (117)
pixie4 1
Again?
CareFace 16
Who are you to assume he's done it twice? Or are you just saying it in hope to have successfully been another idiot posting irrelevant one word responses that are equally as annoying as posting "first". Yeahhh, how's that for a response to "again?"
porp1 4
Feline mercenary strike again.
M0rt 0
I think he commenting on the awkward wording of the fml by asking them to repeat. Some people just say "again"
TourettesGuyFTW 26
OR, some people take this some way too seriously...
Jonkbaby 23
simple. don't bring Kitty into the bad time. na'mean?
AnonymousTroll 2
The kitty was just helping clear the constipation!
ThisIsMyReign 4
Haha, when I was a kid my cat used to do that. But, thank god I was on diapers at the time.
BeatNik169 3
Guys, I think he's joking, implying it happened before.
flydragonpie 2
Sounds like a cartoon scene
xXxIracebethxXx 14
What cartoons have you been watching?
Jakesterk96 8
Was it a black cat? (bad luck)
Yak99 0
Hentai.
jezane 9
That's got to be a sticky situation..
ScaughtieHolden 11
*shitty
upyourzlolz 11
These _______ situation comments are shitty.
Clamcreepy 7
Cat: "Bring your ass over here and save my ass"
ManlyDunsparce 3
Haha that made me laugh, no clue why you're thumbed down.
echoes185 9
You might want to wipe that!
kooochris1995 14
Nahh he is just gonna leave it there. *sarcasm*
EvilCupcake8361 9
Boom boom baby
HeyHey_Star 3
It's for good luck.
Buttsexpirate 9
I can just imagine OP sitting back down only to hear a *squish* and then that *Wa Wa* music play and OP puts their hand on their forehead and shakes their head
DontForgetMe4 0
Yup, that proves it. Cats are definitely man-killing machines out to destroy us. Judgment day is near!
thinkPlNK 0
repent! repent!
FreshlyCut 0
I couldn't help myself but i hate your picture girl above me. So.... How is everyone
Savra_fml 17
Too busy updating your facebook status to shut the toilet door?
MasterE56 4
Your English Teachers would be ashamed.
TwitchingNebula 17
So would yours.
RadioOctopus 16
Oh shit!
cheaptrix 6
That shitty situation is a pain in the ass
Mama_Umbridge 8
Generally, cats and poop-time don't mix. Male a note of it.
teague95 16
can he female a not of it also?
Pelreskovich 11
No, I think you can only female nots. ..was I supposed to typo to keep the typo train going? I'm srroy.
teague95 16
****. I didn't even notice that I hate retarded auto correct making me look dumb and ruining jokes.
Pelreskovich 11
It's okay, happens to me all the time. I kept the joke living, you ruined it by stopping the typo train!