Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML
Hitting the gym
Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML
Cautionary tale
Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML
Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Tact
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
I know what I'm doing
Today, I’m a gym newbie and worked up the courage to go to the weights section. I loaded what I thought was a reasonable amount onto a bar and tried to lift it… except it didn’t move. At all. I pretended I was “just stretching,” then removed half the weights while hoping no one noticed. Someone definitely noticed and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. FML
Top comments
Iskillion 16
Well, when you're buff enough to bench press a car, who'll be laughing then?
MrDonSalvetti 27
Prove her wrong, nothing more to say!
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Comments (61)
Iskillion 16
Well, when you're buff enough to bench press a car, who'll be laughing then?
iAmPaul 49
Oh yeah, because he'll totally be able to train chest thoroughly with just dumbbells.
LifeAlertTwerk 14
#16, for the sake of humanity, I hope you are kidding. If not, I suggest you go down to the joke shop and buy yourself a sense of humor. Even the cheapest one will suffice.
iAmPaul 49
#23 What an unoriginal and idiotic comment. I was completely serious. You won't improve how much you can bench press by only using dumbbells.
ChaoticQuiet 11
Well actually bud, he could do pec fly's, dumbbell press, incline dumbells., he could do push-ups. That's 4 different exercises for chest, he would be well on his way to building strong Pectoral muscles if he increases the weight and progressively overloads his workout. So if you don't mind, don't talk about things you don't understand.
TisAPenguin 16
Not to mention the dude is clearly just starting out. By the way, quite a few of the really jacked guys at my gym use dumbbells for their bench and incline bench press. Rather large dumbbells, but still dumbbells.
fuckedPriceless 17
#25 That won't work with only one set of dumbells...and buying progressively larger dumbells will get very expensive very fast.
iAmPaul 49
#25 That's misinformed. Only doing those exercises isn't adequate to fully workout your pecs. While dumbell presses are good, they're not the same as a regular bench press, and OP would have to spend a lot of money to constantly buy increasingly weighted dumbbells. Point is, dumbbells are not ideal for chest. Hence my original reply to #1. Oh and don't ever be condescending towards me. I've been working out regularly (3-5 times a week) for a few years now. I know very well what I'm talking about, "bud".
zaynakins 12
#16 can you please shut the **** up and stop bringing negitivity to this comment (which was obviously a joke if i may point out.)
iAmPaul 49
#44 What an ironic comment.
ChaoticQuiet 11
Ooh a tough guy here, well, actually. Although w/ a bench press it isn't ideal, it also isn't useless as again he's "starting out". And I'm sure with a quick google search you can find exercises to work your pec major and minor.
ChristianH39 30
39 this is the internet. We can be as condescending as we want to be, bud. You're over analyzing a joke for no reason
TigranPetrosian 8
1- her mom when she breaks her own car.
MrDonSalvetti 27
Prove her wrong, nothing more to say!
wtfomfgfml 14
Back into the kitchen where she belongs.
Elisabethandrine 29
Now you have the motivation you need to become buff! Work hard OP!
ruckfules85 34
she's laughing but she's the one going to the kitchen.
Batmans_cat 14
No... just no. there is no need man.
ruckfules85 34
no I wasn't making a woman in the kitchen joke, I'm just saying she's laughing at him trying to be healthy and she's laughing to the kitchen to get food.
MisterEx 28
Or to make food for her family. Or to do the dishes. Or to take her son's birthday cake out of the oven. Or to watch tv. Or to grab her glasses. Or to drink some water. Or to put away groceries. Or to plan world domination.
cinskeep43 15
that escalated quickly
Hermmm 12
You could punch her (lightly) in the face as proof! Lol
spatula232 25
Lol wut?
Ravike 17
You do realise we're talking bout OP's "mother" here?
iAmPaul 49
#27 Sadly, I think she does.
Ravike 17
Her momma must be so proud
xSPEECHLESS 10
Just laugh your way to the gym
iAmPaul 49
The point of buying your own dumbbells would be so you don't have to go to the gym.
thefmlman2011 37
Hey, good job. We all have have to starr somewhere.
shutupshane12 12
Do you even lift?
illegalbeagle69 23
I mean, he didn't but he's going to start. Soo... did I answer your question?
ShadowlessSpear 21
Does thou even hoist
fsomelife 26
This is the part where you build up your upper body and hit her from behind with a stick. *commence Chandlerian gesticulations*
Dreamsorrow93 24
Eh better than a ***** and lube?
Ravike 17
How is it even relevant for lifting?
TrippingOnAcid 29
I thought this was where the FML was going
Dreamsorrow93 24
If you read a lot of FMLs you would know the reference. I also thought it was heading there myself.
Ravike 17
This reference goes well with situations like Brazil and Germany fifa world cup match, this i just dont see how..but I see your point.