keiran123
Welsh, United States
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
not twilight
Charlotte, United States
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Anonymous
Cabot, United States
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
scarred for life
Brampton, Canada
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Anonymous
Prague, Czech Republic
Gottem
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Anonymous
Morganville, United States
Rightly so
Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
notsogoodtrainee
Fargo, United States
First day
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
are these people even HUMAN?
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Bristol, United States
Tetchy
Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Top comments
theaaxis 27
That really 'sucks'!
mintymandy 11
Bite the little ****** back...
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Comments (89)
theaaxis 27
That really 'sucks'!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I hope he said ' fang you' for his pizza.
Pesticides 19
sounds like your new job bites
thatkidhesh 11
Ohhhhh. You're THAT kind of pizza delivery person. thought that only existed on pornhub ;)
patrickalamo 48
Ah the years spent delivering pizza... Memories... This is just the first of many adventurous deliveries, enjoy you will have many more to post about shortly...
Lioness8197 18
I'm sure that delivery was a pain in the neck.
johnnie254 7
lmao the puns!
kriz_allizwell 6
You can 'count' on the job to get wierd...
kidsgotastinky 11
I think it's quite bat-ass myself
TiroC 25
That's hilarious!
thatkidhesh 11
evolution is sending humanity on one crazy ride if these posts are anything to go by.
golden_warrior 23
Are you sure he isn't the real Dracula. Are you thirsty for some ketchup?
cathyfang1533 12
No thanks, I'm trying to watch my sodium intake. Those late night buffets have really taken a toll on my figure. One can only suck so much depressed fat people blood before one bloats up as well.
jc10x 8
OP better count his blessings, he couldve lost more blood!
mintymandy 11
Bite the little ****** back...
Pwn17 25
Or stake him.
rosatoscano 12
I agree. Just bite him back, give him the pizza, and walk away like nothing ever happened.
Sekkaichi 12
Better than Edward.
legendxs 20
Are you serious? Hahahaha that's so hilarious! Now you will turn into his slave ghoul, or maybe Igor.
BlueMoonCafe 12
I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to deliver pizzas; there are far too many horror stories.
apaloosa_fml_fml 21
At least you have a job where no two days are the same, it's fun!
syki 22
Did you accidentally try to bring him an order of garlic bread? That'd do it.
Wizzlbang 10
Hopefully the next person will order a pizza with more garlic.