Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML
Today, I was happy about finally having the time to pot up the $50 worth of Reblooming Irises I bought… until I went into the garage and couldn't find them. My husband had cleaned up and threw them in the garbage. FML
Today, I ordered groceries online and thought I’d gotten a good deal on apples. I didn't notice they were sold individually, so now I have 36 apples sitting in my kitchen. FML
Today, I ordered groceries online for pickup. Got home, unpacked everything, and only then noticed I had somehow ordered 12 cucumbers instead of 2. The receipt just said, “Quantity: 12” like that was a normal life choice. I'm gonna be having cucumbers with every meal for at least a week. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I bought some cheap panties from a local store. They were great, so I ordered two dozen more, from the store’s website. Turns out the size L from the internet is just about the same as the size S from the local store. They told me that I couldn't expect different colors to be the same size. Go figure. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Do all anecdotes on this site have to be THAT bad?
Wadlaen 24
It didn't say that it was their biggest problem, but it's understandable quite a nuisance.
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Comments (1)
roryab 8
if this is your biggest problem in life, you must be living pretty good
MidnaLink 35
Do all anecdotes on this site have to be THAT bad?
Wadlaen 24
It didn't say that it was their biggest problem, but it's understandable quite a nuisance.