Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. Later, police turned up because mom thought she was underage. I had to desperately prove to some very angry officers that I met my girlfriend at university, and she’s almost a year older than I am. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
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Top comments
v1kt4r 13
ROFLMAO, only in America Always wanted to say that, haha but truly FYL
schwinn11 0
So your mom likes get'n it on with other chicks in public, sounds like my kinda woman. 10 bucks says your mom is more popular with your friends than you are!
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Comments (92)
Luceyrosegray 14
I do not see how people can have sex in public places, I'm way too self-conscious for that.
CanyonRose 16
Was her last name Vause by chance? Oitnb
supertacowaffle 41
I was thinking that OMG
herpderp1234 17
Personally, if you already have your own house, job, car, and life, you do not have to focus on others'. But she still is your mom, and, I love my mom to death, and I would do anything for her, so, I think it's best you bail her out. Show her you still care.
The666Ghost 17
Your mom sounds like mine.