Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML
Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Today, my mom announced that she's getting back together with my stepdad, who just got out of prison. He was in prison because he beat her, choked her, and caused her to have a miscarriage. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, my mom is 44 years-old, and she is cheating on my dad with my friend who is 19. And she's paying me to keep her secret. FML
Today, my mom is upset that she can't get a date, but my dad can. This is the woman who doesn't shower, has a drug problem, and was arrested for spying on a local kindergartener. She was the one who demanded a polyamorous relationship. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
******* what? How old is your friend? And what evidence did the police have? I don't want to label your mom right away, but if she's been with your friend more than once, or others of a similar age, you might be about to learn some very dark secrets. If it was only the once, and she's guilty, I offer you my sympathies.
EmDizzle2007 28
the friend is under 18. it's odd that you asked that, honestly.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (22)
BurnInDemonFire 39
******* what? How old is your friend? And what evidence did the police have? I don't want to label your mom right away, but if she's been with your friend more than once, or others of a similar age, you might be about to learn some very dark secrets. If it was only the once, and she's guilty, I offer you my sympathies.
EmDizzle2007 28
the friend is under 18. it's odd that you asked that, honestly.
Mathalamus 25
The friend is very clearly under 18.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I meant how far under 18. It's not the age of consent the world over, you know. In fact, if OP is a fellow American, most states start at 16.
stormy0307 16
Yes most start at 16 but the partner also has to be 16 or 17 or in states with Romeo and Juliette laws the partner can be like 18 or 19. Not 40 or 50.
faifai_fml 21
Do wait, "if it was only once i offer you sympathies"? So if it was a regular thing, then No Sympathy For You???
BurnInDemonFire 39
No, if she's found guilty, and sent to prison.
RichardPencil 32
Have you been watching too much MILF ****? That’s a trick question — there’s no such thing as too much MILF ****!
jbuckets_404 39
Richard, there's a time and a place per humorous & witty remarks (which you often do so very well!). While I agree wholeheartedly (lol) with your 2nd comment in general (natch here), not so much per the first comment - in this situ that's sadly so wrong in so many ways for at least 4 people....
mcsmee 8
Your friend sounds like a real ************.
RichardPencil 32
Here is where the word "literally" would be used correctly.
DogStew 20
Your “best friend” is a ************!!!
Sam Siggers 8
yeah he is and stifler is pissed.
Monica Castillo 11
Literally
faifai_fml 21
As of right now, 58 people clicked "YDI". 58 people think it's OP's fault for having such a delicious, irresistible minor best friend. /facepalm
Chris Cowperthwait 4
your friend sounds like a real mother ******, like Oedipus
1gullible_bugger 34
Why are 61 people saying that this is OP's fault? All he did was have a best friend that his mom could not keep her hands of. He did not deserve it. Even if his friend is the asshole, his mom is the adult and should know better than to **** around with minors.
Razell 13
A) Good. B) My sympathies on having such a messed up family C) Congratulations to your father on being in remission.
mas12806 24
I’m wondering how the cops found out
KeepOnTruckin' 10
jesus christ