Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I overheard coworkers talking about someone showing up with lettuce or something in their teeth. I laughed and joked it “could never be me.” Later, in the bathroom mirror, I discovered I’d had the same exact green blob stuck between my front teeth for hours. FML
Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML
Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
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Top comments
glorbnakcs 0
You completely deserved that for not checking to see what it was that you were actually putting in your mouth.
cardinallove 11
How did you finally figure that out? When you bothered to read the package? It should have been made obvious at least within the first couple of days when you kept having to shit... YDI
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Comments (55)
glorbnakcs 0
You completely deserved that for not checking to see what it was that you were actually putting in your mouth.
FYLDeep 26
You never know what might end up in there... deep inside.
tehamericanboy94 0
^^^ druggie, no fun there, go get laid instead of doing drugs then bitching about your life when you're in your thirties.
susieKiute 0
ouch! did they work at least?? haha :)
bigdickprick 0
either this is fake or you're a hoebag. either way, you're a hoebag.
amiotica 2
i call fake.. laxatives dont take a week to work.. they take 24 hours or less... and its weird that im reading a book right now and the exact same thing happens in the book.. i mean EXACT sooo i dunno
madie_hearts09 0
oh no that stinks but it's kinda funny:) hehe
trizzieb 0
Easy fix. Find some real breathmints, put them in your rectum, and that should cancel out the shit coming from your mouth and give your farts a minty freshness.
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
how did she not notice that the laxatives had no minty flavor.
mandark 9
Does no one realize that they could actually be breath mints, but a kind that may have Sorbitol (a sugar substitute)? Downing lots of breath mints containing Sorbitol can have a laxative effect.
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
You didn't notice after you were ******** non stop. You are a dumbass
sadistmonkey 19
amiotica, the OP probably felt the effects of the laxatives right after he took them but didn't draw a causal relation between the mints that he ate and the diarrhea that ensued until after a week.
XYZzzzzzzz 0
took you a week eh?
loodles 0
u took them 4 a week before noticing!!!! no way
Chantelle01 0
BIGDICKPRICK: That name suits you.
ninafea 0
#48 WIN'
znea115bf 0
to get him back rub his toothbrush in ur ass
cardinallove 11
How did you finally figure that out? When you bothered to read the package? It should have been made obvious at least within the first couple of days when you kept having to shit... YDI
itz_towelie 6
ya thats what i was thinking, i figured hed notice he needed to take a massive dump everytime he had a mint.
maskedman 9
He also should have noticed that his breath wasn't getting minty fresh. I wonder if his bowel movements smelled any better.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agreed. How does this even happen? At every store I've ever been to, the laxatives and other drugs are nowhere near the candies. I originally interpreted this FML to mean your mints have been working as a laxative on you. I think I'll go back to believing that as it makes you seem less of an idiot.
purplemnm 9
nice profile pic 0_o
maskedman 9
Thanks. It's me in a Black Spiderman costume.
purplemnm 9
that was to numero dos
maskedman 9
FML.
u_killed_kenny_ 0
yeah exactly, read the ******* package BEFORE you start taking them
alleyx3 0
hahaha fail
aerosenna 0
eating too many mints will usually give a laxative effect.. so quit worrying
faxe 0
SHITTTT!
strength413 8
clever....
dudeitsdanny 10
Punny. Good try, but I've heard better. Paula?
dudeitsdanny 10
... Did you think you were just eating a lot of fiber all of a sudden..?
xSPiDERPiGx 0
hotty
jazziloveberryy 3
XD Cute.
Fminetoo 0
Wow, simply wow. Do you not look at what you put in your mouth? On another note, your GI system must be loving the help. : P
ohSNAPyall 27
poisoning?
DJeezy13 0
how do they poison the bowl
BBoureaux 8
I think you mean "bowel"..
MsNeverSingle 0
fake..I've taken many laxatives and none of them even remotely taste minty
inabottle85 0
that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard
TheTrollinator 0
That's just stupid...
Shitz_N_Gigglez 0
You deserve an award for a fail this epic. Actually, on second thought, there was nothing epic about this fail. You're just extremely stupid.
FYLDeep 26
Epic stupidity.
pervertedfairie 0
Really?? How could you not know?? wow...