Family coincidence

Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML

Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML

BREAKING NEWS

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

A sand castle

Today, I took a DNA test and it turns out that the person who I thought was my dad is not my actual dad and my real dad is his best friend. FML

Science, bitch!

Today, one of my twin sons found out he's going to be a dad. His little sister who loves science ended up telling him that, since he has a twin who is genetically identical, he's genetically the baby's dad too. My son, being a bit dim, took this to mean his brother slept with his wife and hit him. FML

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

Today, my 6 brothers and I (a girl) were finally finding out the sex of my mom's baby. It's going to be another boy. FML

Copycat

Today, my father-in-law announced the name of his new son, my husband's half-brother. The first name and last name is the same as our son, who I gave birth to 4 months ago. FML

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML