Today, one of my twin sons found out he's going to be a dad. His little sister who loves science ended up telling him that, since he has a twin who is genetically identical, he's genetically the baby's dad too. My son, being a bit dim, took this to mean his brother slept with his wife and hit him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML
Today, and since forever, my boyfriend has a twin brother. His girlfriend is now pregnant and he was ecstatic. I'm also pregnant but my boyfriend is acting like it’s the end of the world, and has been either drunk or hungover since I told him. So much for twins being alike. FML
Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML
Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML
Today, I found out that I’m not the father of my “son” but I'm his uncle. The only thing my wife did was to shrug and say, “Shit happens.” FML
Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML
Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
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Top comments
Affilicious 18
Your daughter is an evil genius.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"A bit dim" is an understatement. Your son is a stupid bastard who needs to go back to school and learn about genetics.
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Comments (4)
Affilicious 18
Your daughter is an evil genius.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"A bit dim" is an understatement. Your son is a stupid bastard who needs to go back to school and learn about genetics.
bidet 10
Is the other twin any smarter?
emmalou 19
I'm so confused they sound stupid enough to be children but he's old enough to have a wife 😄