Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML
Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML
Today, I got a call from the county’s courthouse where I used to live saying I was being sued for fraud and expected in court to defend myself. Apparently, my ex took a loan out in my name and now I get to pay $2300 worth of legal fees and restitution to this loan company. FML
Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
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Top comments
revan546 24
'Murica
Wizardo 34
The only thing constipated here is his bloody brain, drop him and the case.
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Comments (91)
Ducreaux 7
Sounds like a shitstorm
vanessa09865 23
I'm ashamed to be an American where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died 'cause o' my stupidity.
Chumsword 8
I think he confused constipational with Miranda... Which are close, I do understand. Given what I read though I doubt he can afford an attorney let alone a dictionary to find out what "appointed" means.
slappomatt 4
See when people hear the line " You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.” They assume it means for free.
angel55033 12
You being a lawyer should know he doesn't have a case and him threatening you like that you should dismiss him as a client.
peacefully84 19
Maybe the stress of your bill made him constipated?
elfie82 2
Whats he after?? A roll of toilet paper??? Lmfao
cxex 23
He shoulda used that paper he wrote his letter on... lol
Jharrist89 12
Only in America lol... Thank god you know your actual "Constitutional" rights lol.. Truly F your life on this one Op.
xgetxbentx 13
I don't suppose you're able to drop him as a client either, are you?
fuckedPriceless 17
Obviously he is..."full of shit"