Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Fore!
Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
They see me rollin'…
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Run!
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
SK8 OR DIE
Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML
Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Happy feet
Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML
Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
Tough guy, huh?
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
What is this neighborhood?
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Top comments
williamcarter93 13
I can see this being made into a movie.
NeinKittenz 20
I didn't choose the skate life, the skate life chose me.
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Comments (111)
williamcarter93 13
I can see this being made into a movie.
jipster 11
You came to the wrong neighborhood motherf*cker.
dca101 23
Was that you OP? My bad dawg.
melons 44
Rollerskates and a gang - sounds like The Warriors.
MattDoe82 9
I would pay so much money to see that movie
ironichalibut 24
In tandem with 8- Yeah, we was jus' playin' you homie. Ain't no thing.
Kn0wledge123 21
This movie clearly needs to be made.
Lomus 24
That would still beat Steven Spielberg's Duel.
Anubis_81 21
I was just going to say the same thing.
BadKitty14 7
How come you weren't paying attention to where you were going?
abbypoo 11
Exactly. Since when does skating make you oblivious to your surroundings?
MidnaLink 35
If you asked 100 people if they knew their city like the back of their hand, how many people would honestly say yes?
eMurpH 9
Why not explore a little? Would you rather not skate freely cause your scared of some people? I wouldn't let people ruin what I wanna do.
Ameel_fml 19
It's not like cities or towns have signs that say "You are now entering a bad neighborhood". Most people probably wouldn't know if their town/city even has a bad area, let alone where it starts or ends.
botanistjessica 24
This is not even remotely true if you live in a metropolitan area, 74. Take St. Louis, for example. I know exactly where I shouldn't be. Edit: plus, you can usually tell a bad neighborhood by the quality of property upkeep and/or the people you see outside.
Ameel_fml 19
That's not always true though. I live in the city and I know vaguely which suburbs have bad reputations, but I wouldn't know which specific areas are the "bad neighborhoods". And while you might be able to tell you're in a bad area once you're there, #2's comment seemed to be implying that the OP should have been able to tell they were entering a bad area just by looking around, and it isn't always that simple. It's not like there are signs around the entrance to bad neighborhoods, or the sky suddenly darkens as soon as you're on "the wrong side of the tracks" so to speak.
AndOtherDrugs 5
75 - maybe it's a St. Louis thing, but I completely agree.
kurodansei 16
Ot's not a St.Louis thing I've lived in St. Louis AND DC and i've spent some time in a couple other places too. I know when I'm in a good neighborhoid vs a bad one. However in DC they are very xlose together and you can walk through both multiple times on your way to the store. It's kind of amusing.
cmac86 24
it's also a Little Rock thing. I may not know every street in the city but I know 99% of where I shouldn't be if I want to avoid trouble.
NeinKittenz 20
I didn't choose the skate life, the skate life chose me.
Wizardo 34
GTA V - mission 15, 'Ghetto Meals on Ghetto Wheels'.
KingCeltic77 18
Seems more like something from Bully. Jimmy Hopkins is skateboarding through town, and then he gets chased by Townies until Russell and the gang comes and saves him.
molzipan 16
In all fairness, they are both games by Rockstar so you both win this round.
pam241 15
WTF
SystemofaBlink41 27
Are you sure they weren't Jehovah's witnesses?
TrueTriage 16
I don't think we would chase you with baseball bats. Personally I might laugh if I saw this as a bystander though.... Then helped out
CommentModerated 17
I'm just impressed that you managed to spell all that right. Half of the time my ex couldn't even pronounce "Jehovah" correctly :/
Blue_Eyes67 9
All they wanted was a minute to talk about The Lord Jesus Christ
darknamine 9
This made my day
CommentModerated 17
They don't think Jesus is the Lord, but the son of god aka Jehovah. The more you know
nolefan 15
if there was a god, he'd destroy all the religions of the world
olpally 33
Run Forrest run!!! Lol.
ucoolgirl31 20
Skate Forrest Skate!!
ironichalibut 24
Skate Kwan, skate!*
olpally 33
I liked 14's better than yours 43. Sorry! Lol.
eMurpH 9
"My finger tips and my lips they burn from the cigarettes...."
flockz 20
"Today, the weather was beautiful so i decided to play baseball with my friends. We tried to get this other skating guy to play with us because he looked friendly. He ran from us after i invited him. FML"
Summoner_T3L 15
You have just made my day and its only 2 A.M. lol
kurodansei 16
When he refused our invitation we decided we were gonna whoop his bitchass for being uppity. but he got away.
freshko21 6
Lmao I like your style flockz
chanellgymnast 17
You were attacked by some idiots in the projects? So dumb.
golden_warrior 23
why do we have to be so ignorant? Not all people in the project are idiots. Some people are just making the best out of tough circumstances.
happylappy 21
I think this is a bed intruder reference
chanellgymnast 17
Yes, I was simply referring to the viral "Bed Intruder" video on YouTube. Didn't mean to come off as "ignorant," but I definitely recommend to watch that video on YouTube to understand my comment. Thanks!
sacmaster 11
Such a classic reference
kingdrizzt 5
Classic? Guess Miley and that Beiber punk are vintage now eh? Damn how time flies.
TogeBara 12
This is why I don't go anywhere without a gun. Just let one hit me and I can rid the earth of the scum that is their life.