Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML
Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML
Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss's 13-year-old son. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
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Top comments
icychill67 1
as long as she is not mad it should be all good
Arteaga 0
Hey, I see this as an opportunity to make your way up the latter at your job. Get laid and get on her good side to get you better pay
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Comments (114)
xxfallingskyxx 0
suckks dude
maryammonib 0
well it doesn't really suck as long as she laughs and not fires the op
thaman99 0
ydi for working for a woman.
fsxman1 11
**** HER!!! hehehehehe hi everyone!!!!! and the girl who said she is going to shoot me!!!
helloello 2
my thoughts exactly mary
megiscool123 0
lmao haha that sucks but...wow hahaha
YourEvilHero 12
boss must be a fisherman if they live in alaska
GinandJenkem 0
You must've tried to get in her panties if she laughs and doesn't fire you.
crzywhitebtch 0
ya 40 all we do is fish and live in igloos
surrey101 0
lolll thas the worst wen u cant remmbr wat stupid shit u pulled
VeryNice329 0
I knew it #45!
Resquall 0
45, don't forget the gold panning and the oil extracting.
sublimaze 6
YDI for getting hammered around your boss. having a few drinks with coworkers is one thing, getting smashed and making a fool of yourself is quite another. she's proly keeping you around for sheer entertainment value, so now you must keep "one-upping" yourself every time you meet for drinks. no pressure or anything...
bmalley 0
you'll only get fired if you don't go through with it. now balls up and earn your promotion.
GlacierNerd 2
Dude..I live in Alaska and I work at a bookstore. Come on now..
allisonlols 0
YDI for being drunk, and on the bright side, she didn't fire you because of that, so be thankful! :)
crzywhitebtch 0
haha it's ok 75 I work for a property appraiser and i live in ak
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Gotta go with #57 on this one. Two words: Business Buzzed. Look it up.
Bombthreat907 4
First
mylifeblows3232 3
second
Freakkshoooww 0
That's what I was thinking.
dzisfml 0
You have a woman as a boss? rofl
abcnonamecba 0
sexist
crackiebob 0
this is a win
FYLDeep 26
OP could be a women and they could both be working at a sammich shop together. Yeah, that's the only plausible explanation.
oogyboogy 6
#2 maybe they're both women and work in a feminist society where they don't get any work done because they either want to talk or cuddle
Subtext 10
Even if only used as a joke this fixation on sammiches simply sucks.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#30, you and the rest of the sexist little bitches can go rot in the hellpit you crawled out of.
b1acksharpi3mark 0
Thank you moe(x3). You have copied my ruminations from the interior of my skull.
chyau 0
WIN
smlz4me 1
2&30 sexist pigs. go to hell
bella_coza 0
haha you must have made a complete ass out of yourself!
Ihatewhinypeople 0
Way to state the obvious.
ashleykay94 7
Way to be a dick. .
icychill67 1
as long as she is not mad it should be all good
fsxman1 11
you diserved it retard for getting drunk in front of your boss!!!!!
Arteaga 0
Hey, I see this as an opportunity to make your way up the latter at your job. Get laid and get on her good side to get you better pay
kayladance101 13
*ladder
Jak0p 25
I dont think she smiles because she wants to get laid. she laughs at him because he told her some really crazy stuff about licking her feet or other kinky things
acoti 0
Since you're not fired, don't sweat it.
78euge781995 0
Instead of wondering what you told her, thank god you're not out in the streets right now looking for a job.
samantha_durano 6
is she hot?
fsxman1 11
OH HI Samantha!!! I remever you dared me to do this!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 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ArbiterOfFML 24
You're a ****** MONSTER! Jk
samantha_durano 6
what the **** that wasn't me asshole, it was your other buddies.
FYLDeep 26
I guess if you give into dare's easy, I dare you to jump off a bridge.
fsxman1 11
hahahaha what are you afraid other emo kids on this site are going to judge you! lol stop freaking out and go **** your self you dam woman! love ya!!
fsxman1 11
thats an old one i hace alreadt done that i jumped off the sf bridge its on youtube! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.
samantha_durano 6
holy shit! will someone please just give this kid a life?!
FYLDeep 26
Will somebody please take his life?
aardvarkish 17
26, "remever"? Seriously?
samantha_durano 6
haha, I like your idea better:)
aFMLaddict 0
I think its hot to have a woman as a boss :$ this way you can go down on her and than have a higher chance on getting a job when you aply for one. is she atleast hot?
Littlemuffinbox 6
At least she didn't fire you right? :)