Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
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Top comments
kelsorg 21
well, if you're good at your job you can prove him wrong! fyl
cakefete2 31
Well, at least you're familiar with the case. You should be able to defend yourself easily.
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Comments (83)
johbstonjacob 8
At least you won't need to pay for a lawyer
lexiieeex3 32
What a sociopath.
Saraj07 18
Hope you have a good lawyer! In a seriousness I hope this doesn't cause you any legal troubles.
username53001 7
Get your client to plead insanity...
captainsmegma 12
Take a plea deal. Turn state's evidence and then rat him out for everything.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
If you can't do the time don't do the crime. FYL YDI
Soloman212 28
This is where you chime in with "Objection!" Or, "Hold it!" Right? I am a lawyerer.
LennyComa 39
Just use the "I'm not the one on trial defense"
lifein2014 13
that's when you stop defending him
AllKnowingTurtle 9
The tides have turned! No, but in all seriousness, I hope everything goes ok.